like many women (and some gay men), i am obsessed with pinterest. my entire life i've been "pinning" things on my wall, in notebooks, on my school binders - pictures, quotes, ideas and anything else I liked. now i can do that in a visual realm. i have gone through phases where i was adding things to Facebook that I liked but since Pinterest is meant specifically to host these things, I know I can go there and do it without taking up space on anyone's newsfeed.
it's been crazy fun planning out and getting ideas for my wedding on pinterest. look at all of the sparkly shoes and headbands! the breathtaking dresses! the cakes! the flowers! the unique centerpiece options! it's fun, it's often fantasy and it sometimes leaves me feeling a little blue about the fact that all of this beautiful stuff is not usually reality.
i'm wrapped up in how stunning pictures of rustic barns with long wooden tables look for receptions. but the reality is, our reception is in a hotel ballroom with standard round tables. i'm happy with our reception venue and honestly, don't want an outdoor ceremony or reception and wouldn't want to worry about renting out somewhere like a barn and renting tables, tents, etc... but all of the pictures make me feel like i might be missing out on something.
gorgeous cupcakes with icing that looks like flowers! i love them but we're having a traditional cake. it's important to some people who weren't on board with the cupcake idea so it's a no go. i'm fine with it, in the world of reality, but that ideal wedding side of me is a little bummed.
i sometimes take a moment to drool over designer dresses that cost thousands of dollars that i've seen on say yes to the dress and make you look like a princess but then remember that i found a dress that made me cry at david's bridal. it fits me well, it suits my personality, and my mom was able to afford it. i don't need to be covered in tulle and lace on my dress to make me a bride.
letterpress invites. a trolley for the wedding party. a s'mores bar at the reception. the list could go on and on of things that i love but can't afford/can't logistically pull off for the wedding. i am so happy with what we have and what we are planning but sometimes, i get a little Pinterest envy.
.... then i take a deep breath and remember that many of the most extravagant wedding things i see on Pinterest were posted by girls who are 13 and are busy planning their dream wedding to the Biebs or are pictures of $100K+ weddings and I'm thankful to have a fiance that is real and is helping me plan and that we aren't going into debt for just one day! :)
<3
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
“Believe in
yourself and reach for the stars. Live a life of hope and wonder. Trust your
heart and you’ll never fail.” – (not) Marilyn Monroe
That sounds like the kind of nonsense that is attributed to Marilyn Monroe all the time, isn’t it? I just made it up. I thought about cliché semi-inspirational things to do and just mashed them together. I feel like this is what has happened over the years and it’s now all being linked back as coming from Marilyn Monroe, who is, for some reason, idolized by tons of women.
Why? She was a mediocre actress who died of a drug overdose. I believe people think she was prolific because she has these sayings connected to her and I feel like all of them are completely imaginary.
Prime example: One of my sisters posted a quote on Pinterest that said “To all the girls that think you’re ugly because you’re not a size 0, you’re the beautiful one. It’s society who’s ugly” – Marilyn Monroe.
That sounds like the kind of nonsense that is attributed to Marilyn Monroe all the time, isn’t it? I just made it up. I thought about cliché semi-inspirational things to do and just mashed them together. I feel like this is what has happened over the years and it’s now all being linked back as coming from Marilyn Monroe, who is, for some reason, idolized by tons of women.
Why? She was a mediocre actress who died of a drug overdose. I believe people think she was prolific because she has these sayings connected to her and I feel like all of them are completely imaginary.
Prime example: One of my sisters posted a quote on Pinterest that said “To all the girls that think you’re ugly because you’re not a size 0, you’re the beautiful one. It’s society who’s ugly” – Marilyn Monroe.
I had to
step in and say something. Seriously, there was not even such a thing as size
zero when Monroe was alive. It wasn’t even something people said until Twiggy
came around in the late sixties, after MM died. It didn’t become a real
clothing size until years after that. Not to mention, why would MM be commenting
about size or shape? While people herald her as being “plus size” and a sex
symbol showing that curves are beautiful, this was the norm in her time. Her
body shape was the ideal. She faced no adversity based on her figure. And in
fact, it’s reported that she was under 125 lbs – the myth that she would be
wear a size 14 or 16 today proliferates but as someone who wears a 14/16, let
me tell you that is not the case.
I found a
website that covers this topic, called Immortal Marilyn.
She points out that there are no records of MM saying ANY of the most popular quotes attributed to her, all of which I’m
sure everyone has seen in at least 5 of their female Facebook friends “favorite
quotes”:
·
A
wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves
before she is left.
·
I’m
selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control,
and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure
as hell don’t deserve me at my best.
·
I
believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn
to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right. You
believe lies so eventually you trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good
things fall apart so better things can fall together.
· I am
good, but I am no angel. I sin, but I am not the Devil. I am pretty, but I am
not beautiful. I have friends but I am not the peacemaker. I am just a small
girl in a big world, trying to find someone to love.
·
Imperfection
is beauty. Madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than
absolutely boring.
So, I publicly declare my pet peeve with this. Marilyn Monroe
was a pretty woman. She was a Hollywood starlet and I understand that much
adoration goes to her because she embodies this idea of a classic Hollywood
beauty. But stop quoting nonsense things she didn’t say and trying to make her
into a philosopher. If you’re just looking for old Hollywood glamour, what about Princess
Grace Kelly? Lana Turner? Rita Hayworth? Jayne Mansfield? Lauren Bacall?
Veronica Lake? So many options of beautiful classic Hollywood beauties … and I’m
sure that all of them have said witty and inspiring things that you can go and
quote in your yearbook. 
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
moving!
andy and i are moving over the next few days and my body has turned against me due to the stress of it all. my stomach really does feel all tied up in knots and is not treating me well at all... i really do think it's like 90% stress just because moving sucks. We have movers coming and I'm still feeling like AGGGHHHH i hate moving. my brain keeps trying to say "i'm not worried about this, it's going to work out fine and in the end, andy and i will have our first place together and that is wonderful." and yes, most of that is true. the false part is the i'm not worried about this part. i just have things everywhere and i feel like no matter how much progress i make, i realize there's still all this stuff to do. i know it will get done, i'm just all stress face until it happens.
on a positive note, i LOVE the place we're moving into. 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath, lots of space and closets and brand new shiny appliances. the building has all these nice amenities included like a gym, pool, hot tub, sauna, movie nights, salon/barber, eye doctor, italian restaurant... it's also located like walking distance from a mall and another frequently visited shopping center so that is awesome. trying to focus on that.
this will be my last post of 2011 since i'm dismantling the computer soon and blogger doesn't like to work on my iPad. perhaps in 2012 i will start writing more often. i know in 2012, i want to do project 365, where you take a picture everyday of the year. i think it will be a really cool way to document the year we get married and make an awesome scrapbook in the end, even if it's mundane stuff. so i'm going to focus on doing that. i would like to write on a more regular basis - i've been thinking about picking up fiction writing again... i have a lot of pieces of stories floating around in various notebooks and in my brain ... actually putting the words onto paper and finishing something is difficult though. especially when things are going on around me that need my attention more, like planning a wedding and work and spending time with the future husband. you know.
adios 2011. it's been a pretty kickass year.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
you sit on a throne of lies.
Here's something I bet you didn't know: "Return of the Mack" 90s hit maker Mark Morrison was convicted of affray (Merriam-Webster tells me this is "chiefly British : a fight between two or more people in a public place that disturbs the peace") and sentenced to community service... but ended up doing time anyway because instead of actually doing that community service, he hired a lookalike to do it for him while he went out on tour. HA.
Also, this is a thing: http://moustair.tumblr.com/
Disturbing. Where did this come from? (Thanks, Internet.) Who thinks of these things?!
In life news, I've been engaged for over a month now and things are going well with the planning; I just hit my one year anniversary at work and got a promotion (wooo hoooo!); Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming soon. Time to bust out my favorite :)
Technology. I still haven't figured out how to use Google+ properly. Tumblr and Google+ are two things I just don't have a grip on what I'm supposed to do there. I feel like my grandma when I admit these things. My grandma who does not know how to operate a computer mouse. Sigh.
I bought this stamp this week - so pumped, it's AWESOME. Custom made Ohio stamp, with a little heart where Cleveland is. You should check out the shop on Etsy and see all the awesome stuff that she makes: http://www.etsy.com/shop/brownpigeon
Thursday, November 10, 2011
my baby is a ten, we dressin' to the nine
I posted a blog about "urban fiction" this week for work... God, I love my job. You should check it out, it's pretty awesome (she modestly said): http://overdriveblogs.com/library/2011/11/10/every-day-im-hustlin-urban-fiction-ebooks-audiobooks/
I've learned a lot. Did you know that "ear-hustlin'" essentially means eavesdropping? Truth. Use it.
In other news, I am engaged. That's crazy town. We're making good progress on plans - we have a date (September 15, 2012); booked the church; starting pre-canna; found my dress (!); picked out bridesmaid dresses; starting to see reception venues... It's good. There are just so many little details. Lots of planning. That will keep me busy.
Random thoughts:
- I think it is hypocritical of people to go on rants about religion and labeling any form of religion as stupid and saying things like, "I believe it's all about being a good person". Listen. You are not being a good person by spreading hate and judgment about my faith. That is no better than those religious people who use the Bible as a reason to discriminate against others. Just saying.
- I feel so behind for not having my Christmas shopping list completely filled out yet... And I still have like 6 weeks! I started making some progress this week, at least compiling a list of what to buy but I haven't even figured all that out yet.
- Oh man, I want a puppy. I can't wait until we move into our new place, which allows pets.
- I have leftover iron on letters from Halloween. Considering if I should use them for something else.
- They are chopping down the trees outside my apartment right now. Glad I didn't want to sleep in today, I'd be pissed! Also, whenever there are trees getting cut down, I think of this:
- Beyonce was on Jimmy Fallon last night. She did not look pregnant. It's insane. I'm sure when I'm pregnant that I will essentially triple in size. That's the kind of thing my body would do. Beyonce, instead, looks like this:
(Okay, I just read the comments below this video that this was filmed back in the summer so that explains why she does not look pregnant at all... I feel better about myself.)
Here's the official video. This song is catchy - not like "Single Ladies" catchy but I do like songs with counting.
- If you haven't read Mindy Kaling's book, SHAME ON YOU! No, just kidding. We're still friends. No judging. But really, you should. It's so good. Also, check out her blog: http://theconcernsofmindykaling.com/
- This Law & Order rerun I'm watching has a character named Lisa Winslow. Not related to Laura Winslow:
- I have wanted a t-shirt blanket for years but have never found someone who knows how to make them without charging a couple hundred dollars... Which seems silly. So, I have a crate of old t-shirts I don't want to get rid of because I want them in blanket form eventually. If anyone knows of someone who is into making t-shirt blankets, let me know. I was going to ask for it for Christmas or my birthday but now that all of my energy/money is being saved up for wedding stuff, I don't want to ask about it right now. I'll just keep on saving those shirts. Maybe I'll figure out how to make one myself one of these days.
- Every November, I intend to fully participate in NaNoWriMo. Last year, I started but did not keep going all month. That's my problem with writing non-blogs... I have a lot of ideas but a hard time actually following through and completing those ideas. This year, I've been so wrapped up in other things (work, wedding, holidays, planning a move) that I am not writing consistently now either.
-It snowed for the first time this season yesterday.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
10 random things i don't understand.
1. Shiny puffy vests. Especially vests worn instead of coats.
There are no sleeves. Don't your arms get cold?
2. the stock market. it makes no sense to me, no matter how often andy tries to explain it.
3. why i get excited anytime that mac and cheese is an option at restaurants and why i often choose to order it. i find that i am disappointed (on a scale from very to mildly) about 60% of the time, yet I keep trying.
4. the ineffectiveness of the TSA. airport security rules make no sense to me and there seems to be no explanations anywhere to make it clear.
5. twitter trending topics and how sad they make me. full of racism, ignorance, grammatical and spelling errors, and general stupidity.
6. the popularity of cereal as the breakfast food of choice.
7. how the term "pro-life" is used by people who cheer for the death penalty and support a war that's killed so many innocent and brave men and women fighting for ... what? sigh.
8. gas prices and how they're determined.
9. people who listen to jenny mccarthy for medical and parenting advice.
10. inappropriate facebook usage. particularly - If you are old enough to have children, you are too old to have some kind of weird fake nickname or alias in your Facebook profile. Stacy "Ballin like a Rock Star" Smith. Stop that. Also, you need to stop **wRiTiNG lyKe ThISss** and posting Selena Gomez song lyrics as your status. Your child needs a parent, not a peer, so stop acting like you're a pre-teen.
Monday, September 19, 2011
the wikipedia game.
Go to Wikipedia. Hit random article. Click on any random link to take you to the next page – see what you can find. I usually like to take it to 5 or 6 steps and see what I land on.
Game #1: Paper Canyon to Ballcock
Paper Canyon is a CD from British rock band Codes in the Clouds. They recorded the CD in Doncaster.
Doncaster is a town in South Yorkshire, England. It’s popularly referred to as “Donny”.
Famous people from Donny? Well there’s plenty of professional footballers, BBC actors, and musicians only famous in England – names Americans have probably never heard. But then I saw Thomas Crapper’s name.
Thomas Crapper? Yeah, no big deal… he’s credited with popularizing the modern flushing toilet. Get it? CRAPPER!
Crapper didn’t invent the crapper but he did put his name all over toilets, giving us the nickname for the commode. He did develop some important bathroom related inventions like the ballcock.
Yeah, the ballcock. It’s the thing in your toilet that fills the water tank without letting it overflow. Here’s a diagram.
Game #2: 1990 Cincinnati Bengals season to Manta Ray
Random
article brought me to the 1990 Cincinnati Bengals season. While the
numbers mean very little to me, it looks like they did better than the
Houston Oilers, Steelers, and the Browns that year.
Boomer
Esiason (what a name, although it doesn’t beat Thomas Crapper) set a
franchise record that season with the most passing yards in one game.
Boomer is now a “color commentator” for games and does things like guest judge Iron Chef America.
Iron
Chef America is based off the Japanese Iron Chef. Apparently one of the
best episodes was between Mario Batali and Jamie Oliver. Battle: Cobia.
What’s cobia? Don’t confuse it with the member of the Ringgold Isles archipelago in Fiji, (Cobia Island) or the Romanian commune (Cobia, Dâmboviţa) or the United States Navy submarine (USS Cobia (SS-245).) It’s a type of fish.
They
primarily eat crabs and will follow around sharks and manta rays in
hopes of finding food. They’re curious fish and are not scared of boats.
Favorite fact about manta rays: Manta rays frequently visit cleaning stations where small fish such as wrasse, remora, and angelfish
swim in the manta's gills and over its skin to feed, in the process
cleaning it of parasites and dead tissue. Like other species in the
shark family they must swim to keep from sinking, so that their stay at a
cleaning station is characterized by slow circuits.
While it’s not linked on the Wikipedia page, when I hear manta ray, I think Spice World.
Geri: Did you know, that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?
Victoria: And then there's the little ginger one, that is full of useless information, about manta rays!
Game #3: Cedillo del Condado to the many Toledo’s
Random article gifted me with Cedillo del Condado, which is a municipality in the province of Toledo, Spain.
In the province, only about 1/9 of the population live in the capital Toledo.
Toledo, Spain has been a sister city with Toledo, OH since 1931.
Toledo,
OH is the fourth most populous city in Ohio. It’s by far the most
populous of all of the US Toledo’s (the metro Toledo area has over
650,000 people).
Toledo, Illinois – less than 2,000
Toledo, Iowa – around 2,500
Toledo, Oregon – Named after Toledo, OH by a homesick former resident Joseph D. Graham, Toledo, OR has around 3,000 residents.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
i love target but absolutely hate their website.
Like many others, I am in a head over heels love relationship with Target. Tar-zhay to be fancy... which I am. I can go into Target, planning only to buy shampoo and leave with a cart full of items and a nearly $100 bill. It happens. I wander Target, love to browse the clearance, inevitably find something I cannot live without, and leave happy. I used to frequent Target all the time, since my last job was just down the street, but now my Target trips are more spread out. It takes more time and effort to get to a Target here so I can't go as easily as before. I cherish my trips. Last time I went, I bought a clearance dress for under $15, Parks & Rec Season 2 on DVD for under $15, a bracelet, toothpaste, 2 candles, a toaster for $6.24, and bagels. I love it.
Here's what I have never understood about Target - their website. It sucks. It's not that it's not a pretty site because it can be visually appealing. It's bright red and branded properly so you know it is Target. Trying to find anything on that site is horrible. It's rare to actually find anything online that is then carried in the store - I've had hopes and dreams dashed too many times finding some adorable pair of shoes or outfit online only to never find anything like it in stores. I have to try on shoes and most clothes before I buy them. I can't do that with online shopping.
Even when I'm trying to online shop on Target's site, I have an awful time doing it. Their search feature is miserable, their material is mislabeled and not priced the same as store equivalents, and it gives me thousands of results with not enough options to help me narrow it down.
Example to support my complaint: Today marked the release of new TV shows on DVD - the most recent seasons of Community, The Office, and Parks & Recreation all went on sale today. I have been pricing out how much each season costs on Amazon, Best Buy, and I tried to do the same with Target... they do not make it easy.
They don't have an easy to browse TV on DVD section, like they do in their stores. I finally found my way to the TV category and couldn't browse or sort by title, couldn't easily filter down the options to just see comedy... not good. I tried doing a keyword search and finally found Parks & Rec's new season (not cheap enough for me to want to buy it right away). A search for The Office produced office chairs and after some deeper searching, all six previous seasons but not season 7. Community... see for yourself what that search produced.
Here's what I have never understood about Target - their website. It sucks. It's not that it's not a pretty site because it can be visually appealing. It's bright red and branded properly so you know it is Target. Trying to find anything on that site is horrible. It's rare to actually find anything online that is then carried in the store - I've had hopes and dreams dashed too many times finding some adorable pair of shoes or outfit online only to never find anything like it in stores. I have to try on shoes and most clothes before I buy them. I can't do that with online shopping.
Even when I'm trying to online shop on Target's site, I have an awful time doing it. Their search feature is miserable, their material is mislabeled and not priced the same as store equivalents, and it gives me thousands of results with not enough options to help me narrow it down.
Example to support my complaint: Today marked the release of new TV shows on DVD - the most recent seasons of Community, The Office, and Parks & Recreation all went on sale today. I have been pricing out how much each season costs on Amazon, Best Buy, and I tried to do the same with Target... they do not make it easy.
They don't have an easy to browse TV on DVD section, like they do in their stores. I finally found my way to the TV category and couldn't browse or sort by title, couldn't easily filter down the options to just see comedy... not good. I tried doing a keyword search and finally found Parks & Rec's new season (not cheap enough for me to want to buy it right away). A search for The Office produced office chairs and after some deeper searching, all six previous seasons but not season 7. Community... see for yourself what that search produced.
The Community. That's not the name of the show. You have a picture of the box - does it say THE Community? Also, the first season DVD set has 4 discs. Not 3. Really, Target? Two factual errors in one product description? Not good.
A search for Season Two gave me this:
6679 results for "community second season" - most relevant in Target.com's eyes? tents. big tents. community tents? seasonal tents? second... tents?
So not helpful. I just wish that the site was more intuitive and more like my in store experiences, which I enjoy. I would buy more for Target.com if it weren't such a shithole to use.
For now, I'll continue to go to Amazon for online ordering and leave my lazy weekend afternoons to loitering in Target for hours and buying the most random assortment of items possible.
Friday, August 26, 2011
happy friday.
 |
| oh, etsy. you and your cute bird accessories. |
 |
| I want one in the shape of Ohio. |
 |
| yes. I need this in real life to show my approval or distaste. |
 |
| salt & pepper shakers! two peas in a pod. adorable. |
 |
| this is a collage of converse shoes. |
 |
this image is a real warning sticker... don't put babies in plastic bins and close the lid. gotcha. |
 |
| the snowy day. good book. |
 |
| i should probably own these. purple peep toe pumps. alliteration! |
 |
| yum. |
 |
| true. |
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Who is she and why does she have her own song?
First, let me state the obvious. The 90s Are All That on TeenNick is the best idea they've ever had. I can only hope they continue and bring on more shows - I'm looking forward to some game shows (Legends of the Hidden Temple! Guts! Double Dare! Figure It Out!)
Watching All That and Kenan & Kel again made me realize a few things.
1. Kenan Thompson is funniest when he's speaking French. I just wish they let him do Weekend Update in a bathtub.
Pierre Escargot
Jean K. Jean
2. Kel loves orange soda.
Non-Nickelodeon but still regarding 90s TV -
Listen to this:
I'm the baby, gotta love me! Not the mama!
Same voice as...
Elmo.
Discovering that recently was an a-ha moment for me. Baby in Dinosaurs = Elmo. Crazy.
The 90s had great shows - and even better theme songs. It always makes me wonder how my brain works that I can remember all the words to almost all of these songs... but can't tell you most of what I learned through high school and even college.
Get ready for a YouTube overload.
What's up, Breaker High era Ryan Gosling?
While the show was nothing compared to the movie, I definitely watched it.
(Yes, that's Rockapella performing that live a few years ago... wish I could find a clip of when Jimmy Fallon busts out his Rockapella skit. Speaking of Jimmy Fallon, remember when he reunited the cast of California Dreams? I love him.)
Because this is getting insane and I could probably keep going forever... I leave you with:
They started playing this song as we were filing out of The Price is Right taping we went to July 5th. At first, I was singing along with the lyrics but couldn't figure out why I knew the words... then I remembered. Cleveland rocks! :)
*(Obviously I'd include Family Matters and Full House here as well but I couldn't find any on YouTube that would allow for embedding onto my blog so you'll have to sing those to yourself and search them out on your own.)*
Watching All That and Kenan & Kel again made me realize a few things.
1. Kenan Thompson is funniest when he's speaking French. I just wish they let him do Weekend Update in a bathtub.
Pierre Escargot
Jean K. Jean
2. Kel loves orange soda.
Non-Nickelodeon but still regarding 90s TV -
Listen to this:
I'm the baby, gotta love me! Not the mama!
Same voice as...
Elmo.
Discovering that recently was an a-ha moment for me. Baby in Dinosaurs = Elmo. Crazy.
The 90s had great shows - and even better theme songs. It always makes me wonder how my brain works that I can remember all the words to almost all of these songs... but can't tell you most of what I learned through high school and even college.
Get ready for a YouTube overload.
What's up, Breaker High era Ryan Gosling?
While the show was nothing compared to the movie, I definitely watched it.
(Yes, that's Rockapella performing that live a few years ago... wish I could find a clip of when Jimmy Fallon busts out his Rockapella skit. Speaking of Jimmy Fallon, remember when he reunited the cast of California Dreams? I love him.)
Because this is getting insane and I could probably keep going forever... I leave you with:
They started playing this song as we were filing out of The Price is Right taping we went to July 5th. At first, I was singing along with the lyrics but couldn't figure out why I knew the words... then I remembered. Cleveland rocks! :)
*(Obviously I'd include Family Matters and Full House here as well but I couldn't find any on YouTube that would allow for embedding onto my blog so you'll have to sing those to yourself and search them out on your own.)*
Monday, July 18, 2011
you don't need that.
preface: i write this with no intentions of offending anyone's past or present wedding registry lists. this is not about a particular person/couple - it's a collective sense of the weddings i've attended the past few years.
wedding registries. i look forward to going on the registry shopping trips myself, with the scanner, creating a dream wish list of items. what i've noticed though is how the reality of owning those items doesn't always connect with the scanner happy couples, lost in the beyond of bed, bath, and beyond.
here's something i refuse to register for when i get married: napkin rings. napkin rings! what twentysomething uses napkin rings, ever? my formal southern GRANDPARENTS on fancy holiday meals when china and silver comes out don't even bust out napkin rings. you know why? they are useless.
and let's talk about the fact that most couples live together before they get married. i intend to do the same. at this point in our lives, we're not right out of college anymore - we've been living in the grown up world, in apartments or houses together, so i don't believe you when you say you need basic items. like kitchen utensils. or towels. or a laundry basket. i understand wanting nicer versions of those things but are you just going to throw away everything that you have right now? or do you really need 2-3 of everything? and listen - if you are a couple that doesn't even have friends over for pizza or beer now, why do you think that when you get married, you are suddenly going to be hosting dinner parties so frequently that you need 40 matching dinner plates, a giant punch bowl and ladle, and 3 formal chip and dip servers? you don't.
industrial cheese slicer: how often do you have blocks of cheese that just can't be cut with a regular knife? you NEED a cheese slicer that looks like a school paper cutter?
strawberry huller: i didn't even know this existed. using your hands or a knife just takes too much time for regular strawberry consumption? are you making strawberry jam and you need to quickly get rid of the leafy part? i don't think you make jam. and if you make jam, why haven't i had any?!
spice rack: if you don't cook more than boxed mac and cheese and sandwiches, don't ask me for a $90 spice rack just so your kitchen counter looks sophisticated.
$300 bedspread: nope. that's not necessary.
a banana hanger and two fruit bowls: how much fruit do you eat?! why can't your bananas associate with your other fruit?
creme brule torch: this is clearly a husband choice. "oh, fire!" creme brule? really? how often are you making that at your house? let's be real.
to save myself from seeming like the biggest hypocrite in the world, i may be registering for some of these things... i mean, not the napkin rings or strawberry huller... but I get it. It's the ideal. it's your wish list.
but seriously, everytime i shop for a wedding i think, "hmmm... do I want to spend $75-100 on something I know they'll absolutely never use?" and for those couples that you know shouldn't be getting married to begin with or that you're the plus one and don't know the couple at all or distant relatives you haven't seen for years... it's hard to spend that money.
wedding registries. i look forward to going on the registry shopping trips myself, with the scanner, creating a dream wish list of items. what i've noticed though is how the reality of owning those items doesn't always connect with the scanner happy couples, lost in the beyond of bed, bath, and beyond.
here's something i refuse to register for when i get married: napkin rings. napkin rings! what twentysomething uses napkin rings, ever? my formal southern GRANDPARENTS on fancy holiday meals when china and silver comes out don't even bust out napkin rings. you know why? they are useless.
and let's talk about the fact that most couples live together before they get married. i intend to do the same. at this point in our lives, we're not right out of college anymore - we've been living in the grown up world, in apartments or houses together, so i don't believe you when you say you need basic items. like kitchen utensils. or towels. or a laundry basket. i understand wanting nicer versions of those things but are you just going to throw away everything that you have right now? or do you really need 2-3 of everything? and listen - if you are a couple that doesn't even have friends over for pizza or beer now, why do you think that when you get married, you are suddenly going to be hosting dinner parties so frequently that you need 40 matching dinner plates, a giant punch bowl and ladle, and 3 formal chip and dip servers? you don't.
industrial cheese slicer: how often do you have blocks of cheese that just can't be cut with a regular knife? you NEED a cheese slicer that looks like a school paper cutter?
strawberry huller: i didn't even know this existed. using your hands or a knife just takes too much time for regular strawberry consumption? are you making strawberry jam and you need to quickly get rid of the leafy part? i don't think you make jam. and if you make jam, why haven't i had any?!
spice rack: if you don't cook more than boxed mac and cheese and sandwiches, don't ask me for a $90 spice rack just so your kitchen counter looks sophisticated.
$300 bedspread: nope. that's not necessary.
a banana hanger and two fruit bowls: how much fruit do you eat?! why can't your bananas associate with your other fruit?
creme brule torch: this is clearly a husband choice. "oh, fire!" creme brule? really? how often are you making that at your house? let's be real.
to save myself from seeming like the biggest hypocrite in the world, i may be registering for some of these things... i mean, not the napkin rings or strawberry huller... but I get it. It's the ideal. it's your wish list.
but seriously, everytime i shop for a wedding i think, "hmmm... do I want to spend $75-100 on something I know they'll absolutely never use?" and for those couples that you know shouldn't be getting married to begin with or that you're the plus one and don't know the couple at all or distant relatives you haven't seen for years... it's hard to spend that money.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
british slang and ten dollar words: translating russell brand's booky wook 2
In just two chapters of Russell Brand’s “Booky Wook 2”, I highlighted 20 words or phrases that I don’t know or understand and have had to look them up. Crazy Brit. Some slang I was able to pick up on or understand using context clues and I knew some of the SAT worthy words he likes to use – but these 20 required some Googling/Wikipedia searching.
· Vainglorious - big: feeling self-importance; "too big for his britches"
· Fizzog – British slang for face (in use at least from the 1940s – abbreviation of ‘physiognomy’, which means “A person's facial features or expression, esp. when regarded as indicative of character or ethnic origin.”)
· “A piece of Battenberg and a cuppa” – Battenberg is a type of cake (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battenberg_cake) and cuppa is British slang for “a cup of tea”
· Pestilence - A fatal epidemic disease, esp. bubonic plague.
· Ineluctable - Unable to be resisted or avoided; inescapable
· Barmy - zestful: marked by spirited enjoyment
· “when Billy Connolly went on Parky” – Billy Connolly is a Scottish comedian and actor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Connolly). Parky is short for “Parkinson”, a popular British TV talk show in the 70s - Billy Connolly appeared on the show 15 times.
· Firmament - The heavens or the sky, esp. when regarded as a tangible thing
· “any prat can nick a Mac” – prat = incompetent person/slang for butt. nick = steal. So, “any asshole can steal a Mac” basically.
· Recalcitrant - Having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward authority
· “rent boys” – slang for male prostitute
· Japes – practical jokes
· Arriviste - A self-seeking person who has recently acquired wealth or social status
· “by jingo” - The OED attests the first appearance in 1794, in an English edition of the works of François Rabelais as a translation for the French par Dieu! ("by God!"). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/By_Jingo)
· Wantaway onanists – wantaway… I can mostly find definitions that relate to soccer (or “football”) players who want to play for another club. Onanist = masturbator. HA!
· Apposite - Apt in the circumstances or in relation to something
· Snitchy little berks – snitchy = bad tempered. Berks = a mildly derogatory term for a silly person. (Thanks to Wikipedia for the ever helpful “List of British words not widely used in the United States”: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_words_not_widely_used_in_the_United_States. Also beneficial - List of words having different meanings in American and British English: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_words_having_different_meanings_in_American_and_British_English)
· Nasturtium – type of plant/flower
· Moussaka - A Greek dish made of minced lamb, eggplant, and tomatoes, with cheese on top
· Titchy – tiny, very small
And here are a few British names that are dropped that mean nothing to me:
· Babs Windsor http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Windsor
· Kathy Burke http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathy_Burke
· Jarvis Cocker http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jarvis_Cocker
· Shaun Ryder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaun_Ryder
· Jo Whiley http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jo_Whiley
· Vainglorious - big: feeling self-importance; "too big for his britches"
· Fizzog – British slang for face (in use at least from the 1940s – abbreviation of ‘physiognomy’, which means “A person's facial features or expression, esp. when regarded as indicative of character or ethnic origin.”)
· “A piece of Battenberg and a cuppa” – Battenberg is a type of cake (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battenberg_cake) and cuppa is British slang for “a cup of tea”
· Pestilence - A fatal epidemic disease, esp. bubonic plague.
· Ineluctable - Unable to be resisted or avoided; inescapable
· Barmy - zestful: marked by spirited enjoyment
· “when Billy Connolly went on Parky” – Billy Connolly is a Scottish comedian and actor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Connolly). Parky is short for “Parkinson”, a popular British TV talk show in the 70s - Billy Connolly appeared on the show 15 times.
· Firmament - The heavens or the sky, esp. when regarded as a tangible thing
· “any prat can nick a Mac” – prat = incompetent person/slang for butt. nick = steal. So, “any asshole can steal a Mac” basically.
· Recalcitrant - Having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward authority
· “rent boys” – slang for male prostitute
· Japes – practical jokes
· Arriviste - A self-seeking person who has recently acquired wealth or social status
· “by jingo” - The OED attests the first appearance in 1794, in an English edition of the works of François Rabelais as a translation for the French par Dieu! ("by God!"). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/By_Jingo)
· Wantaway onanists – wantaway… I can mostly find definitions that relate to soccer (or “football”) players who want to play for another club. Onanist = masturbator. HA!
· Apposite - Apt in the circumstances or in relation to something
· Snitchy little berks – snitchy = bad tempered. Berks = a mildly derogatory term for a silly person. (Thanks to Wikipedia for the ever helpful “List of British words not widely used in the United States”: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_words_not_widely_used_in_the_United_States. Also beneficial - List of words having different meanings in American and British English: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_words_having_different_meanings_in_American_and_British_English)
· Nasturtium – type of plant/flower
· Moussaka - A Greek dish made of minced lamb, eggplant, and tomatoes, with cheese on top
· Titchy – tiny, very small
And here are a few British names that are dropped that mean nothing to me:
· Babs Windsor http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Windsor
· Kathy Burke http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathy_Burke
· Jarvis Cocker http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jarvis_Cocker
· Shaun Ryder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaun_Ryder
· Jo Whiley http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jo_Whiley
It's worth reading if you are already a fan of Russell Brand's comedy. Some things to note: A) his unusual style of speaking and the interesting ways he uses language... if you've ever seen him as a guest on a talk show, this book sounds exactly like he speaks. B) Some familiarity with British slang/celebrities is useful (or if you have Google nearby to figure out what he means, you should be fine) and C) Do not read this if you are easily offended. This book is full of tales of his sexual exploits with multitudes of women, including a group of ladies who apparently referred to themselves as Satan's Sluts and engaged in group sex with Brand... So ladies might not be the best terminology... but yes. I find him very intriguing.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
reminding myself that i like myself.
this blog is generally an outlet for my pop culture observations - i don't usually use this to actually write about how i feel but today is the day.
so... sometimes i get jealous of other girls, just because they are different. which is totally lame. i had a moment like that this week. it was weird. like these girls are waif like thin and stylish or maybe they are super indie hipster cool and into underground bands and clubs or exotic and have this awesome cultural connection ... and i am not any of those things. at all. and it's super weird, i don't know if it's even true jealousy or what to call it but i guess sometimes it's a blow to my self esteem. and that doesn't happen often at this point in my life. i'm not an insecure teenager. i'm 26 and happy and in love and know that i'm usually pretty comfortable with me on the whole so i'm taken aback when i have feelings like that... It actually surprises me and i think it's harder to even process why i'm feeling that way and sometimes that manifests itself as being sad or getting angry at something or someone else unrelated - I think they call that kind of behavior transference. hmmm. anyway. Melissa and I sometimes call moments when we're feeling down and have weird emotions and sadness/panic out of nowhere a "Baby Mama moment".
allow me to explain. i saw "baby mama" at the theater when it came out and i thought it was cute and funny - i love tina fey and amy poehler. but after i walked out of the movie, instead of feeling happy about just seeing a funny comedy, i felt super sad. i started having a semi-anxiety attack - here's what was running through my mind: "OH MY GOD, what if I become Tina Fey's character? what if I never meet anyone? what if I don't get married? what if I'm in my mid 30s and still single and alone and everyone else isn't? i want babies. i want a family. what if I never have kids? what if I can't have kids?" all of these questions and more started flooding my brain to the point where i started crying. it made me so sad. questions like that are so hard because they don't have immediate answers and they are real and scary and you can get lost in the what if. I went and saw another movie immediately after that to cheer myself up (Thank you "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" for distracting me and making me feel better.)
here's another "baby mama" moment, actually triggered by another movie - "going the distance". another movie i enjoyed, i laughed, i recommend seeing it. Andy and I saw it together and when we left, instead of thinking "oh, here's a movie about long distance relationships, it was funny and ended hopefully", i broke down. i cried and became a mess. when we saw the movie, i was applying for jobs in cleveland but i didn't know what would happen. i panicked that i might not be able to find a job and could we continue long distance? i knew i didn't want to be in toledo anymore and it made me sad to think that i might not be able to leave, if i couldn't find anything. i also worried that if i did find a job, that i'd move out here and mess everything up. maybe Andy would realize that I was a crazy person or something and would decide he didn't like me anymore. I worried about the unknown future and I was scared about how I felt and I was scared about the fact that Andy didn't seem scared at all ... he never had a doubt that it was the right thing for me to do to move and for us to be together. he always assured me and helped get me through my fear.
so, i know that these "baby mama" moments happen sometimes. they just do. we're in our twenties and still figuring everything out. but they have to be moments or else I would drown. they have to pass. there's no use in freaking out about things you can't control. that's what i've learned ... or at least, tried to learn. i'm not a self help guru. you know. but like, i allow myself the time to be bummed and be Debbie Downer and maybe freak out about things but it has to have a limit. like, one night of crying myself to sleep and binging on cookie dough and letting myself list out every single worst case scenario about how my life could turn out - but I wake up the next day and decide it's a new day. I know there has to be a bounce back to try and focus on what I can control and be proactive in creating my own happiness.
self empowerment in a blog post. maybe. or emotional vomit. either way. this is mine and i can write what i want, so there. :)
so... sometimes i get jealous of other girls, just because they are different. which is totally lame. i had a moment like that this week. it was weird. like these girls are waif like thin and stylish or maybe they are super indie hipster cool and into underground bands and clubs or exotic and have this awesome cultural connection ... and i am not any of those things. at all. and it's super weird, i don't know if it's even true jealousy or what to call it but i guess sometimes it's a blow to my self esteem. and that doesn't happen often at this point in my life. i'm not an insecure teenager. i'm 26 and happy and in love and know that i'm usually pretty comfortable with me on the whole so i'm taken aback when i have feelings like that... It actually surprises me and i think it's harder to even process why i'm feeling that way and sometimes that manifests itself as being sad or getting angry at something or someone else unrelated - I think they call that kind of behavior transference. hmmm. anyway. Melissa and I sometimes call moments when we're feeling down and have weird emotions and sadness/panic out of nowhere a "Baby Mama moment".
allow me to explain. i saw "baby mama" at the theater when it came out and i thought it was cute and funny - i love tina fey and amy poehler. but after i walked out of the movie, instead of feeling happy about just seeing a funny comedy, i felt super sad. i started having a semi-anxiety attack - here's what was running through my mind: "OH MY GOD, what if I become Tina Fey's character? what if I never meet anyone? what if I don't get married? what if I'm in my mid 30s and still single and alone and everyone else isn't? i want babies. i want a family. what if I never have kids? what if I can't have kids?" all of these questions and more started flooding my brain to the point where i started crying. it made me so sad. questions like that are so hard because they don't have immediate answers and they are real and scary and you can get lost in the what if. I went and saw another movie immediately after that to cheer myself up (Thank you "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" for distracting me and making me feel better.)
here's another "baby mama" moment, actually triggered by another movie - "going the distance". another movie i enjoyed, i laughed, i recommend seeing it. Andy and I saw it together and when we left, instead of thinking "oh, here's a movie about long distance relationships, it was funny and ended hopefully", i broke down. i cried and became a mess. when we saw the movie, i was applying for jobs in cleveland but i didn't know what would happen. i panicked that i might not be able to find a job and could we continue long distance? i knew i didn't want to be in toledo anymore and it made me sad to think that i might not be able to leave, if i couldn't find anything. i also worried that if i did find a job, that i'd move out here and mess everything up. maybe Andy would realize that I was a crazy person or something and would decide he didn't like me anymore. I worried about the unknown future and I was scared about how I felt and I was scared about the fact that Andy didn't seem scared at all ... he never had a doubt that it was the right thing for me to do to move and for us to be together. he always assured me and helped get me through my fear.
so, i know that these "baby mama" moments happen sometimes. they just do. we're in our twenties and still figuring everything out. but they have to be moments or else I would drown. they have to pass. there's no use in freaking out about things you can't control. that's what i've learned ... or at least, tried to learn. i'm not a self help guru. you know. but like, i allow myself the time to be bummed and be Debbie Downer and maybe freak out about things but it has to have a limit. like, one night of crying myself to sleep and binging on cookie dough and letting myself list out every single worst case scenario about how my life could turn out - but I wake up the next day and decide it's a new day. I know there has to be a bounce back to try and focus on what I can control and be proactive in creating my own happiness.
self empowerment in a blog post. maybe. or emotional vomit. either way. this is mine and i can write what i want, so there. :)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
songs i forgot existed, part II.
I found a fantastic series on The AV Club called "Then That's What They Called Music", where a writer is listening to every single NOW CD and breaking down some of the tracks, talking about the artists, and being generally hilarious. It's also making me remember songs that I forgot existed until I watched the YouTube video and was like... OHHHHH Right. That song.
So, inspired by Then That's What They Called Music, I'm going through all 38 NOW CDs and sharing one track that I kind of forgot about, have genuinely never heard before, or generally just don't understand how it made it onto a compilation of today's biggest hits.
Starting from the beginning, 1998's classic NOW That's What I Call Music! (#1)
"Shorty (You Keep Playin' with My Mind)" - Imajin
#2
"When a Woman's Fed Up" - R. Kelly
#3
"Why I'm Here" - Oleander
#4
(Includes Sonique - Feels So Good, which I featured in my last "Songs I Forgot Existed" post so I'll defer to another song here)
"I Wanna Know" - Joe
#5
"Incomplete" - Sisqó
#6
(I do not know many R. Kelly songs. Other than "Ignition", "Trapped in the Closet", and "Feeling on Yo Booty")
"I Wish" - R. Kelly
#7
(Forgot Samantha Mumba had more than one single... and the chorus is a little similar to Christina's Come On Over Baby, no?)
"Baby, Come Over (This Is Our Night)" - Samantha Mumba
#8
(Hearing this reminds me of Kim Possible. BTW, funny story, I was in a movie this week with a bunch of 20 something bearded hipster dudes and someone's phone alert went off and it was the Kim Possible sound... and I laughed out loud. It was awesome.)
"AM to PM" - Christina Milian
...and just because
#9
(Again, forgot they had another single other than "What Would You Do?". The Then That's What They Called Music article on this made a good point: "“Caramel” is Claudette Ortiz’s valentine to herself. The chorus says it all: “5’5” with brown eyes (caramel-complected) / Smile like the sunrise (body like heaven).” Yes, Ortiz seems taken with herself, and with good reason, even though the first verse seems stolen from a Match.com profile. It wouldn’t take much work to transform it into a personal ad like this: “5’5” brown-eyed Caramel-complected looker with smile like the sunrise and a body like heaven seeks open-minded man who wouldn’t mind betraying his best friend and breaking up his group for me. I’m not into big names, but I like nice things. I watch boxing matches and football games. I wouldn’t mind being an actress, but I love to sing. I like to go out, taking walks and stuff. I don’t run with many girls, because they talk too much. I enjoy quiet nights at home. I’ll curl up next to you. Though I ain’t a virgin, that don’t mean I’m going to have sex with you." Ha.)
"Caramel" - City High
#10
"Don't Say Goodbye" - Paulina Rubio
#11
(I definitely know this beat since it's used all the time but forgot about the song that went with it.)
N.O.R.E. - "Nothin'"
#12
Kelly Rowland – "Stole"
#13
Lisa Marie Presley - "Lights Out"
#14
Thalia ft Fat Joe - "I Want You"
#15
(I looked at this song and absolutely could not remember it at all... Listen to the video and I'm sure you'll remember it like I did. She called his pager and his two way! Very timely. It's like Bug-a-Boo.)
Sarah Connor - "Bounce"
#16
Chingy featuring J Weav - "One Call Away"
#17
Nelly featuring Jaheim - "My Place"
#18
(I actually remember Skye Sweetnam because my sisters had her CD... however, I remember a horrible song about "Billy" Shakespeare, not this one.)
Skye Sweetnam - "Tangled Up in Me"
here we go - sorry, in advance.
#19
Amerie – "1 Thing"
#20
(I consider myself a DC fan, do not remember this one at all. Maybe because it's kind of awful. There are lines where Beyonce offers to help take off her man's cufflinks, run his bathwater, and brush his hair. Yeah.)
Destiny's Child - "Cater 2 U"
#21
(It's all coming back to me now, as Celine says... This is the gem that includes the lyric "slap your grandma". Classy.)
Trace Adkins - "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
#22
(Aw, poor former O-Town member. He tried to have a solo career. And had an MTV reality show during that time. Forgot about that. It was around the same time as Ashlee Simpson's show, back when she was dating Ryan Cabrera, right? Random.)
Ashley Parker Angel – "Let U Go"
#23
(I have NO recollection of Teddy Geiger having more than one song past "For You I Will"... which is a different song from Monica's ballad from Space Jam, also titled "For You I Will")
Teddy Geiger - "These Walls"
#24
Bow Wow featuring Chris Brown & Johnta Austin – "Shortie Like Mine"
#25
(Did you know Beyonce and Shakira did a song together?)
Beyoncé and Shakira – "Beautiful Liar"
#26
Fabolous featuring Ne-Yo - "Make Me Better"
#27
(I think I purposely blocked this one because this is what made me really dislike T. Swift at first... this ridiculous teenage girl I'm crying on my guitar and writing in my diary because some douche named Drew doesn't know I'm alive... It wasn't until later that I realized I dig Tay Tay and forgive her for this.)
Taylor Swift - "Teardrops on My Guitar"
#28
Flex featuring Belinda – "Te Quiero"
#29
Yung Berg featuring Casha – "The Business"
#30
"18 Days" - Saving Abel
#31
(So ..... this was a hit song. It gave out a phone number that was the best part to sing along to - 678-triple9-8212. Wikipedia tells me "The telephone number given in the song, if dialled from the United States, connects to a message system for the artist. An unsuspecting family in Oldham, Greater Manchester, found themselves inundated with calls from fans in the UK who dialed the number without using the international dialling code prefix for the United States" hahahahaha. Did we learn nothing from Tommy TuTone?)
"Kiss Me Thru the Phone" - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em featuring Sammie
#32
"Throw It in the Bag" - Fabolous featuring The Dream
#33
(This is one of the "bonus tracks" on the CD that I heard once or twice on the radio and just thought WHY?)
"Shake That Bubble" - Young & Divine
#34
"Heart Heart Heartbreak" - Boys Like Girls
#35
(Jaron, as in Evan and Jaron, is now a country singer. Kind of a funny, but dark, song. Never heard it before today but I can dig it.)
"Pray for You" - Jaron and the Long Road to Love
#36
(I just have to mention that mixed in with the radio hits from late 2010, most of which are still played now, a bonus track on this CD is Elvis. ????)
"Suspicious Minds" (Bonus Track)- Elvis Presley
#37
(I know the beat - from a commercial maybe?)
"Stereo Love" - Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina
#38
(I've been hearing this on the radio and meaning to look up who sang it ... it's catchy and name drops Zach Galifianakis. So now I know. Hot Chelle Rae. Hey, here's some trivia. Sam from Glee - Chord Overstreet - is in this music video. Why? His brother, Nash Overstreet, is in the band. There you go.)
"Tonight Tonight" - Hot Chelle Rae
So, inspired by Then That's What They Called Music, I'm going through all 38 NOW CDs and sharing one track that I kind of forgot about, have genuinely never heard before, or generally just don't understand how it made it onto a compilation of today's biggest hits.
Starting from the beginning, 1998's classic NOW That's What I Call Music! (#1)
"Shorty (You Keep Playin' with My Mind)" - Imajin
#2
"When a Woman's Fed Up" - R. Kelly
#3
"Why I'm Here" - Oleander
#4
(Includes Sonique - Feels So Good, which I featured in my last "Songs I Forgot Existed" post so I'll defer to another song here)
"I Wanna Know" - Joe
#5
"Incomplete" - Sisqó
#6
(I do not know many R. Kelly songs. Other than "Ignition", "Trapped in the Closet", and "Feeling on Yo Booty")
"I Wish" - R. Kelly
#7
(Forgot Samantha Mumba had more than one single... and the chorus is a little similar to Christina's Come On Over Baby, no?)
"Baby, Come Over (This Is Our Night)" - Samantha Mumba
#8
(Hearing this reminds me of Kim Possible. BTW, funny story, I was in a movie this week with a bunch of 20 something bearded hipster dudes and someone's phone alert went off and it was the Kim Possible sound... and I laughed out loud. It was awesome.)
"AM to PM" - Christina Milian
...and just because
#9
(Again, forgot they had another single other than "What Would You Do?". The Then That's What They Called Music article on this made a good point: "“Caramel” is Claudette Ortiz’s valentine to herself. The chorus says it all: “5’5” with brown eyes (caramel-complected) / Smile like the sunrise (body like heaven).” Yes, Ortiz seems taken with herself, and with good reason, even though the first verse seems stolen from a Match.com profile. It wouldn’t take much work to transform it into a personal ad like this: “5’5” brown-eyed Caramel-complected looker with smile like the sunrise and a body like heaven seeks open-minded man who wouldn’t mind betraying his best friend and breaking up his group for me. I’m not into big names, but I like nice things. I watch boxing matches and football games. I wouldn’t mind being an actress, but I love to sing. I like to go out, taking walks and stuff. I don’t run with many girls, because they talk too much. I enjoy quiet nights at home. I’ll curl up next to you. Though I ain’t a virgin, that don’t mean I’m going to have sex with you." Ha.)
"Caramel" - City High
#10
"Don't Say Goodbye" - Paulina Rubio
#11
(I definitely know this beat since it's used all the time but forgot about the song that went with it.)
N.O.R.E. - "Nothin'"
#12
Kelly Rowland – "Stole"
#13
Lisa Marie Presley - "Lights Out"
#14
Thalia ft Fat Joe - "I Want You"
#15
(I looked at this song and absolutely could not remember it at all... Listen to the video and I'm sure you'll remember it like I did. She called his pager and his two way! Very timely. It's like Bug-a-Boo.)
Sarah Connor - "Bounce"
#16
Chingy featuring J Weav - "One Call Away"
#17
Nelly featuring Jaheim - "My Place"
#18
(I actually remember Skye Sweetnam because my sisters had her CD... however, I remember a horrible song about "Billy" Shakespeare, not this one.)
Skye Sweetnam - "Tangled Up in Me"
here we go - sorry, in advance.
#19
Amerie – "1 Thing"
#20
(I consider myself a DC fan, do not remember this one at all. Maybe because it's kind of awful. There are lines where Beyonce offers to help take off her man's cufflinks, run his bathwater, and brush his hair. Yeah.)
Destiny's Child - "Cater 2 U"
#21
(It's all coming back to me now, as Celine says... This is the gem that includes the lyric "slap your grandma". Classy.)
Trace Adkins - "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
#22
(Aw, poor former O-Town member. He tried to have a solo career. And had an MTV reality show during that time. Forgot about that. It was around the same time as Ashlee Simpson's show, back when she was dating Ryan Cabrera, right? Random.)
Ashley Parker Angel – "Let U Go"
#23
(I have NO recollection of Teddy Geiger having more than one song past "For You I Will"... which is a different song from Monica's ballad from Space Jam, also titled "For You I Will")
Teddy Geiger - "These Walls"
#24
Bow Wow featuring Chris Brown & Johnta Austin – "Shortie Like Mine"
#25
(Did you know Beyonce and Shakira did a song together?)
Beyoncé and Shakira – "Beautiful Liar"
#26
Fabolous featuring Ne-Yo - "Make Me Better"
#27
(I think I purposely blocked this one because this is what made me really dislike T. Swift at first... this ridiculous teenage girl I'm crying on my guitar and writing in my diary because some douche named Drew doesn't know I'm alive... It wasn't until later that I realized I dig Tay Tay and forgive her for this.)
Taylor Swift - "Teardrops on My Guitar"
#28
Flex featuring Belinda – "Te Quiero"
#29
Yung Berg featuring Casha – "The Business"
#30
"18 Days" - Saving Abel
#31
(So ..... this was a hit song. It gave out a phone number that was the best part to sing along to - 678-triple9-8212. Wikipedia tells me "The telephone number given in the song, if dialled from the United States, connects to a message system for the artist. An unsuspecting family in Oldham, Greater Manchester, found themselves inundated with calls from fans in the UK who dialed the number without using the international dialling code prefix for the United States" hahahahaha. Did we learn nothing from Tommy TuTone?)
"Kiss Me Thru the Phone" - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em featuring Sammie
#32
"Throw It in the Bag" - Fabolous featuring The Dream
#33
(This is one of the "bonus tracks" on the CD that I heard once or twice on the radio and just thought WHY?)
"Shake That Bubble" - Young & Divine
#34
"Heart Heart Heartbreak" - Boys Like Girls
#35
(Jaron, as in Evan and Jaron, is now a country singer. Kind of a funny, but dark, song. Never heard it before today but I can dig it.)
"Pray for You" - Jaron and the Long Road to Love
#36
(I just have to mention that mixed in with the radio hits from late 2010, most of which are still played now, a bonus track on this CD is Elvis. ????)
"Suspicious Minds" (Bonus Track)- Elvis Presley
#37
(I know the beat - from a commercial maybe?)
"Stereo Love" - Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina
#38
(I've been hearing this on the radio and meaning to look up who sang it ... it's catchy and name drops Zach Galifianakis. So now I know. Hot Chelle Rae. Hey, here's some trivia. Sam from Glee - Chord Overstreet - is in this music video. Why? His brother, Nash Overstreet, is in the band. There you go.)
"Tonight Tonight" - Hot Chelle Rae
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
don't you worry your pretty striped head
A review I wrote of the Hangover 2 on Twitter made it on Entertainment Weekly's website today.
@franceshouseman -- #hangover2: feels like writers played mad libs w original plot (replace Vegas w Bangkok; baby w monkey; lost tooth w face tattoo)#EWExitPoll
That being said, I did enjoy the movie. When I watch a movie, I rate it in my mind in the following ways:
1. If it's a comedy, did it make me laugh out loud? / Drama - did it make me think? / Horror - did it make me jump?
2. Was there anything unexpected and unusual that surprised me?
3. Would I pay to see the movie in theaters again?
4. Is it Netflix worthy? (Would I rent it on DVD?)
5. Do I want to own the movie when it comes out on DVD?
Hangover II
-Made me laugh out loud, especially at Zack Galifianakis and Ken Jeong. They are the best parts of the movie. And the monkey. The monkey is cool.
-I was surprised by some aspects of the movie but I think because the first movie was so unexpected and shocking that the second wasn't able to meet that same level. To expand on my 140 character review, the writers saw that they had a good thing in the first movie so they just took the bare outline of the first plot and filled in the blanks.
first movie || second movie
Doug's wedding || Stu's wedding
Vegas || Bangkok
"We lost Doug!" || "We lost Teddy!"
Stu lost a tooth || Stu has a face tattoo
Found a baby & a tiger || Found a monkey & a finger
Mr. Cho is chasing us || Men chasing Mr. Cho are chasing us
Stu loves stripper/prostitute || Stu loves trans stripper/prostitute
In both movies:
Allen drugs the wolf pack.
Allen loves the Jonas Brothers.
Mike Tyson appears.
Stu sings a song, recapping their adventures.
Pictures during the credits of the night they can't remember.
Bad guys chasing them/beating them up.
Male nudity.
NY Mag made some of the same points in an article they wrote: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/05/review_the_hangover_part_ii_in.html
Looking at some of my other criteria:
-I would not pay to see it again.
-I might Netflix it, if there are special features on the DVD (gag reel, etc..)
-I don't have an interest in owning this movie.
Looking at another movie that I enjoyed much more than Hangover 2: Bridesmaids
-Made me laugh out loud - Melissa McCarthy and the cute cop boyfriend win for best stars of the movie.
-I was surprised at how much heart the movie had, while still being hysterical and having shocking gross out moments too.
Bridesmaids had some very real moments - "I don't want to leave my apartment, this is my place, I like my bathtub!" and realizing that marriage changes girl friendships... seeing your best friends become friends with other people and changing and growing into a different place in life than you are... having a pity party and needing to realize that you are responsible for you and your happiness - saying things like "I don't have any friends" to a friend trying to help you... a cute love interest who looks like the kind of guy that you actually see in real life, not like a Disney prince... the douchey f*buddy Jon Hamm played to a T... just good all around.
-I paid to see it twice in the theater.
-I want to buy it when it comes out on DVD because I know I can watch it over again and still enjoy it at home.
@franceshouseman -- #hangover2: feels like writers played mad libs w original plot (replace Vegas w Bangkok; baby w monkey; lost tooth w face tattoo)#EWExitPoll
That being said, I did enjoy the movie. When I watch a movie, I rate it in my mind in the following ways:
1. If it's a comedy, did it make me laugh out loud? / Drama - did it make me think? / Horror - did it make me jump?
2. Was there anything unexpected and unusual that surprised me?
3. Would I pay to see the movie in theaters again?
4. Is it Netflix worthy? (Would I rent it on DVD?)
5. Do I want to own the movie when it comes out on DVD?
Hangover II
-Made me laugh out loud, especially at Zack Galifianakis and Ken Jeong. They are the best parts of the movie. And the monkey. The monkey is cool.
-I was surprised by some aspects of the movie but I think because the first movie was so unexpected and shocking that the second wasn't able to meet that same level. To expand on my 140 character review, the writers saw that they had a good thing in the first movie so they just took the bare outline of the first plot and filled in the blanks.
first movie || second movie
Doug's wedding || Stu's wedding
Vegas || Bangkok
"We lost Doug!" || "We lost Teddy!"
Stu lost a tooth || Stu has a face tattoo
Found a baby & a tiger || Found a monkey & a finger
Mr. Cho is chasing us || Men chasing Mr. Cho are chasing us
Stu loves stripper/prostitute || Stu loves trans stripper/prostitute
In both movies:
Allen drugs the wolf pack.
Allen loves the Jonas Brothers.
Mike Tyson appears.
Stu sings a song, recapping their adventures.
Pictures during the credits of the night they can't remember.
Bad guys chasing them/beating them up.
Male nudity.
NY Mag made some of the same points in an article they wrote: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/05/review_the_hangover_part_ii_in.html
Looking at some of my other criteria:
-I would not pay to see it again.
-I might Netflix it, if there are special features on the DVD (gag reel, etc..)
-I don't have an interest in owning this movie.
Looking at another movie that I enjoyed much more than Hangover 2: Bridesmaids
-Made me laugh out loud - Melissa McCarthy and the cute cop boyfriend win for best stars of the movie.
-I was surprised at how much heart the movie had, while still being hysterical and having shocking gross out moments too.
Bridesmaids had some very real moments - "I don't want to leave my apartment, this is my place, I like my bathtub!" and realizing that marriage changes girl friendships... seeing your best friends become friends with other people and changing and growing into a different place in life than you are... having a pity party and needing to realize that you are responsible for you and your happiness - saying things like "I don't have any friends" to a friend trying to help you... a cute love interest who looks like the kind of guy that you actually see in real life, not like a Disney prince... the douchey f*buddy Jon Hamm played to a T... just good all around.
-I paid to see it twice in the theater.
-I want to buy it when it comes out on DVD because I know I can watch it over again and still enjoy it at home.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
dear facebook....
Dear Facebook and FB users,
General FB ettiquette states that you do not congratulate someone on their wall about an engagement or pregnancy until they themselves have made that news facebook official. Usually people spread that news out and tell their friends and family in more personal, direct methods like face to face or over the phone first before they post it up on the old FB. If you are of the lucky few who have received a call or text notifying you of such news (or heard through the grapevine from someone who was notified directly), it is not your place to share that news on Facebook if the involved parties have not yet shared that information with the world. If you're thinking to yourself, "Man, I heard that my buddy got engaged yesterday and I want to celebrate it on his/my facebook wall" - check to see if the relationship status has changed. If it hasn't, don't do it. If no one else has written anything - don't do it. If there's not a status/note/pictures sharing the ring/baby bump/whatever, it is not your place to be the one to tell every single facebook friend their news. That bothers me.
While I'm ranting about Facebook, here are a few observations...
1. I think the "It's complicated" status should only be used for humorous purposes. No one should seriously be in a "it's complicated" relationship on FB. We're adults.
2. Why can't I list my stepmom as a family member? I could however choose between Cousin (Male) and Cousin (Female). Is that distinction necessary? Nope.
3. Why can't I see my old wall posts (pre-2007)? Those are the posts I really want to see, from the early days of Facebook and college adventures.
4. I want to be able to view pictures in a slideshow format. With up to 200 photos in an album, it'd be a much more convenient way to view the pics.
5. I wish it were easier to separate out my real friends and family from people I really don't care about and my likes and interests. Sometimes my newsfeed feels like a big commercial for the TV shows and musicians I like.
I've observed that FB tends to bring out my bitchy judgemental thoughts too. I think "Wow, your boyfriend has gay face" or "Put your boobs away" at least once a day looking through my newsfeed or recently updated pictures. I have found that I'm harsher on people whose maturity levels are rapidly decreasing the older they get. People in their mid to late 20s on FB should not feel the need to post song lyrics on their friends walls/as status messages, usually spelled in alternating uPpEr aND loWEr case letters with a lot of *** and <3 <3 <3 because we're not in junior high. It's also interesting to use FB as a gauge for the end of relationships and see how people handle that transition from "In a Relationship" or "Married" to "Single".
Finally, if you really don't like a picture of yourself, untag it. Don't poke strangers. Don't be FB friends with someone that doesn't have a profile picture (unless they are old and just can't figure out how to set it up). Don't trust real life people who don't have a FB page. Don't use your facebook status to fish for compliments (Posts like "Ugh, I'm so fat" or "God, why don't I have a boyfriend?!" are unaccepatble.) Update your profile picture if it's more than 6 months old. Don't be stupid and think that people won't look through public FB pictures - it will happen. Don't act like FB is pointless and silly but then have a profile and post quiz results and your FarmVille activity. That's hypocritical. And speaking of FarmVille - stop that nonsense.
With love,
Melissa
General FB ettiquette states that you do not congratulate someone on their wall about an engagement or pregnancy until they themselves have made that news facebook official. Usually people spread that news out and tell their friends and family in more personal, direct methods like face to face or over the phone first before they post it up on the old FB. If you are of the lucky few who have received a call or text notifying you of such news (or heard through the grapevine from someone who was notified directly), it is not your place to share that news on Facebook if the involved parties have not yet shared that information with the world. If you're thinking to yourself, "Man, I heard that my buddy got engaged yesterday and I want to celebrate it on his/my facebook wall" - check to see if the relationship status has changed. If it hasn't, don't do it. If no one else has written anything - don't do it. If there's not a status/note/pictures sharing the ring/baby bump/whatever, it is not your place to be the one to tell every single facebook friend their news. That bothers me.
While I'm ranting about Facebook, here are a few observations...
1. I think the "It's complicated" status should only be used for humorous purposes. No one should seriously be in a "it's complicated" relationship on FB. We're adults.
2. Why can't I list my stepmom as a family member? I could however choose between Cousin (Male) and Cousin (Female). Is that distinction necessary? Nope.
3. Why can't I see my old wall posts (pre-2007)? Those are the posts I really want to see, from the early days of Facebook and college adventures.
4. I want to be able to view pictures in a slideshow format. With up to 200 photos in an album, it'd be a much more convenient way to view the pics.
5. I wish it were easier to separate out my real friends and family from people I really don't care about and my likes and interests. Sometimes my newsfeed feels like a big commercial for the TV shows and musicians I like.
I've observed that FB tends to bring out my bitchy judgemental thoughts too. I think "Wow, your boyfriend has gay face" or "Put your boobs away" at least once a day looking through my newsfeed or recently updated pictures. I have found that I'm harsher on people whose maturity levels are rapidly decreasing the older they get. People in their mid to late 20s on FB should not feel the need to post song lyrics on their friends walls/as status messages, usually spelled in alternating uPpEr aND loWEr case letters with a lot of *** and <3 <3 <3 because we're not in junior high. It's also interesting to use FB as a gauge for the end of relationships and see how people handle that transition from "In a Relationship" or "Married" to "Single".
Finally, if you really don't like a picture of yourself, untag it. Don't poke strangers. Don't be FB friends with someone that doesn't have a profile picture (unless they are old and just can't figure out how to set it up). Don't trust real life people who don't have a FB page. Don't use your facebook status to fish for compliments (Posts like "Ugh, I'm so fat" or "God, why don't I have a boyfriend?!" are unaccepatble.) Update your profile picture if it's more than 6 months old. Don't be stupid and think that people won't look through public FB pictures - it will happen. Don't act like FB is pointless and silly but then have a profile and post quiz results and your FarmVille activity. That's hypocritical. And speaking of FarmVille - stop that nonsense.
With love,
Melissa
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