it's kind of lovely, isn't it?

the problem with pinterest.

2012-02-09T09:46:00.000-05:00

like many women (and some gay men), i am obsessed with pinterest. my entire life i've been "pinning" things on my wall, in notebooks, on my school binders - pictures, quotes, ideas and anything else I liked. now i can do that in a visual realm. i have gone through phases where i was adding things to Facebook that I liked but since Pinterest is meant specifically to host these things, I know I can go there and do it without taking up space on anyone's newsfeed.

it's been crazy fun planning out and getting ideas for my wedding on pinterest. look at all of the sparkly shoes and headbands! the breathtaking dresses! the cakes! the flowers! the unique centerpiece options! it's fun, it's often fantasy and it sometimes leaves me feeling a little blue about the fact that all of this beautiful stuff is not usually reality.

i'm wrapped up in how stunning pictures of rustic barns with long wooden tables look for receptions. but the reality is, our reception is in a hotel ballroom with standard round tables. i'm happy with our reception venue and honestly, don't want an outdoor ceremony or reception and wouldn't want to worry about renting out somewhere like a barn and renting tables, tents, etc... but all of the pictures make me feel like i might be missing out on something.

gorgeous cupcakes with icing that looks like flowers! i love them but we're having a traditional cake. it's important to some people who weren't on board with the cupcake idea so it's a no go. i'm fine with it, in the world of reality, but that ideal wedding side of me is a little bummed.

i sometimes take a moment to drool over designer dresses that cost thousands of dollars that i've seen on say yes to the dress and make you look like a princess but then remember that i found a dress that made me cry at david's bridal. it fits me well, it suits my personality, and my mom was able to afford it. i don't need to be covered in tulle and lace on my dress to make me a bride.

letterpress invites. a trolley for the wedding party. a s'mores bar at the reception. the list could go on and on of things that i love but can't afford/can't logistically pull off for the wedding. i am so happy with what we have and what we are planning but sometimes, i get a little Pinterest envy.

.... then i take a deep breath and remember that many of the most extravagant wedding things i see on Pinterest were posted by girls who are 13 and are busy planning their dream wedding to the Biebs or are pictures of $100K+ weddings and I'm thankful to have a fiance that is real and is helping me plan and that we aren't going into debt for just one day! :)

<3

2012-02-06T18:01:00.000-05:00

“Believe inyourself and reach for the stars. Live a life of hope and wonder. Trust yourheart and you’ll never fail.” – (not) Marilyn Monroe

That soundslike the kind of nonsense that is attributed to Marilyn Monroe all the time,isn’t it? I just made it up. I thought about cliché semi-inspirational thingsto do and just mashed them together. I feel like this is what has happened overthe years and it’s now all being linked back as coming from Marilyn Monroe, whois, for some reason, idolized by tons of women.
Why? She wasa mediocre actress who died of a drug overdose. I believe people think she wasprolific because she has these sayings connected to her and I feel like all ofthem are completely imaginary.

Primeexample: One of my sisters posted a quote on Pinterest that said “To all thegirls that think you’re ugly because you’re not a size 0, you’re the beautifulone. It’s society who’s ugly” – Marilyn Monroe.

I had tostep in and say something. Seriously, there was not even such a thing as sizezero when Monroe was alive. It wasn’t even something people said until Twiggycame around in the late sixties, after MM died. It didn’t become a realclothing size until years after that. Not to mention, why would MM be commentingabout size or shape? While people herald her as being “plus size” and a sexsymbol showing that curves are beautiful, this was the norm in her time. Herbody shape was the ideal. She faced no adversity based on her figure. And infact, it’s reported that she was under 125 lbs – the myth that she would bewear a size 14 or 16 today proliferates but as someone who wears a 14/16, letme tell you that is not the case.

I found awebsite that covers this topic, called Immortal Marilyn.She points out that there are no records of MM saying ANY of the most popular quotes attributed to her, all of which I’msure everyone has seen in at least 5 of their female Facebook friends “favoritequotes”:

· Awise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leavesbefore she is left.

· I’mselfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control,and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, you sureas hell don’t deserve me at my best.

· Ibelieve that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learnto let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right. Youbelieve lies so eventually you trust no one but yourself. And sometimes goodthings fall apart so better things can fall together.

· I amgood, but I am no angel. I sin, but I am not the Devil. I am pretty, but I amnot beautiful. I have friends but I am not the peacemaker. I am just a smallgirl in a big world, trying to find someone to love.

· Imperfectionis beauty. Madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous thanabsolutely boring.

So, I publicly declare my pet peeve with this. Marilyn Monroewas a pretty woman. She was a Hollywood starlet and I understand that muchadoration goes to her because she embodies this idea of a classic Hollywoodbeauty. But stop quoting nonsense things she didn’t say and trying to make herinto a philosopher. If you’re just looking for old Hollywood glamour, what about PrincessGrace Kelly? Lana Turner? Rita Hayworth? Jayne Mansfield? Lauren Bacall?Veronica Lake? So many options of beautiful classic Hollywood beauties … and I’msure that all of them have said witty and inspiring things that you can go andquote in your yearbook.

moving!

2011-12-28T23:21:00.000-05:00

andy and i are moving over the next few days and my body has turned against me due to the stress of it all. my stomach really does feel all tied up in knots and is not treating me well at all... i really do think it's like 90% stress just because moving sucks. We have movers coming and I'm still feeling like AGGGHHHH i hate moving. my brain keeps trying to say "i'm not worried about this, it's going to work out fine and in the end, andy and i will have our first place together and that is wonderful." and yes, most of that is true. the false part is the i'm not worried about this part. i just have things everywhere and i feel like no matter how much progress i make, i realize there's still all this stuff to do. i know it will get done, i'm just all stress face until it happens.

on a positive note, i LOVE the place we're moving into. 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath, lots of space and closets and brand new shiny appliances. the building has all these nice amenities included like a gym, pool, hot tub, sauna, movie nights, salon/barber, eye doctor, italian restaurant... it's also located like walking distance from a mall and another frequently visited shopping center so that is awesome. trying to focus on that.

this will be my last post of 2011 since i'm dismantling the computer soon and blogger doesn't like to work on my iPad. perhaps in 2012 i will start writing more often. i know in 2012, i want to do project 365, where you take a picture everyday of the year. i think it will be a really cool way to document the year we get married and make an awesome scrapbook in the end, even if it's mundane stuff. so i'm going to focus on doing that. i would like to write on a more regular basis - i've been thinking about picking up fiction writing again... i have a lot of pieces of stories floating around in various notebooks and in my brain ... actually putting the words onto paper and finishing something is difficult though. especially when things are going on around me that need my attention more, like planning a wedding and work and spending time with the future husband. you know.

adios 2011. it's been a pretty kickass year.

you sit on a throne of lies.

2011-11-17T18:45:00.001-05:00

Here's something I bet you didn't know: "Return of the Mack" 90s hit maker Mark Morrison was convicted of affray (Merriam-Webster tells me this is "chiefly British : a fight between two or more people in a public place that disturbs the peace") and sentenced to community service... but ended up doing time anyway because instead of actually doing that community service, he hired a lookalike to do it for him while he went out on tour. HA.

Also, this is a thing: http://moustair.tumblr.com/

Disturbing. Where did this come from? (Thanks, Internet.) Who thinks of these things?!

In life news, I've been engaged for over a month now and things are going well with the planning; I just hit my one year anniversary at work and got a promotion (wooo hoooo!); Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming soon. Time to bust out my favorite :)

Technology. I still haven't figured out how to use Google+ properly. Tumblr and Google+ are two things I just don't have a grip on what I'm supposed to do there. I feel like my grandma when I admit these things. My grandma who does not know how to operate a computer mouse. Sigh.

I bought this stamp this week - so pumped, it's AWESOME. Custom made Ohio stamp, with a little heart where Cleveland is. You should check out the shop on Etsy and see all the awesome stuff that she makes: http://www.etsy.com/shop/brownpigeon

my baby is a ten, we dressin' to the nine

2011-11-10T18:24:00.001-05:00

I posted a blog about "urban fiction" this week for work... God, I love my job. You should check it out, it's pretty awesome (she modestly said): http://overdriveblogs.com/library/2011/11/10/every-day-im-hustlin-urban-fiction-ebooks-audiobooks/

I've learned a lot. Did you know that "ear-hustlin'" essentially means eavesdropping? Truth. Use it.

In other news, I am engaged. That's crazy town. We're making good progress on plans - we have a date (September 15, 2012); booked the church; starting pre-canna; found my dress (!); picked out bridesmaid dresses; starting to see reception venues... It's good. There are just so many little details. Lots of planning. That will keep me busy.

Random thoughts:

- I think it is hypocritical of people to go on rants about religion and labeling any form of religion as stupid and saying things like, "I believe it's all about being a good person". Listen. You are not being a good person by spreading hate and judgment about my faith. That is no better than those religious people who use the Bible as a reason to discriminate against others. Just saying.

- I feel so behind for not having my Christmas shopping list completely filled out yet... And I still have like 6 weeks! I started making some progress this week, at least compiling a list of what to buy but I haven't even figured all that out yet.

- Oh man, I want a puppy. I can't wait until we move into our new place, which allows pets.

- I have leftover iron on letters from Halloween. Considering if I should use them for something else.

- They are chopping down the trees outside my apartment right now. Glad I didn't want to sleep in today, I'd be pissed! Also, whenever there are trees getting cut down, I think of this:

- Beyonce was on Jimmy Fallon last night. She did not look pregnant. It's insane. I'm sure when I'm pregnant that I will essentially triple in size. That's the kind of thing my body would do. Beyonce, instead, looks like this:

(Okay, I just read the comments below this video that this was filmed back in the summer so that explains why she does not look pregnant at all... I feel better about myself.)

Here's the official video. This song is catchy - not like "Single Ladies" catchy but I do like songs with counting.

- If you haven't read Mindy Kaling's book, SHAME ON YOU! No, just kidding. We're still friends. No judging. But really, you should. It's so good. Also, check out her blog: http://theconcernsofmindykaling.com/

- This Law & Order rerun I'm watching has a character named Lisa Winslow. Not related to Laura Winslow:

- I have wanted a t-shirt blanket for years but have never found someone who knows how to make them without charging a couple hundred dollars... Which seems silly. So, I have a crate of old t-shirts I don't want to get rid of because I want them in blanket form eventually. If anyone knows of someone who is into making t-shirt blankets, let me know. I was going to ask for it for Christmas or my birthday but now that all of my energy/money is being saved up for wedding stuff, I don't want to ask about it right now. I'll just keep on saving those shirts. Maybe I'll figure out how to make one myself one of these days.

- Every November, I intend to fully participate in NaNoWriMo. Last year, I started but did not keep going all month. That's my problem with writing non-blogs... I have a lot of ideas but a hard time actually following through and completing those ideas. This year, I've been so wrapped up in other things (work, wedding, holidays, planning a move) that I am not writing consistently now either.

-It snowed for the first time this season yesterday.

10 random things i don't understand.

2011-10-30T02:19:00.000-04:00

1. Shiny puffy vests. Especially vests worn instead of coats.

There are no sleeves. Don't your arms get cold?

2. the stock market. it makes no sense to me, no matter how often andy tries to explain it.

3. why i get excited anytime that mac and cheese is an option at restaurants and why i often choose to order it. i find that i am disappointed (on a scale from very to mildly) about 60% of the time, yet I keep trying.

4. the ineffectiveness of the TSA. airport security rules make no sense to me and there seems to be no explanations anywhere to make it clear.

5. twitter trending topics and how sad they make me. full of racism, ignorance, grammatical and spelling errors, and general stupidity.

6. the popularity of cereal as the breakfast food of choice.

7. how the term "pro-life" is used by people who cheer for the death penalty and support a war that's killed so many innocent and brave men and women fighting for ... what? sigh.

8. gas prices and how they're determined.

9. people who listen to jenny mccarthy for medical and parenting advice.

10. inappropriate facebook usage. particularly - If you are old enough to have children, you are too old to have some kind of weird fake nickname or alias in your Facebook profile. Stacy "Ballin like a Rock Star" Smith. Stop that. Also, you need to stop **wRiTiNG lyKe ThISss** and posting Selena Gomez song lyrics as your status. Your child needs a parent, not a peer, so stop acting like you're a pre-teen.

the wikipedia game.

2011-09-19T11:33:00.000-04:00

Go to Wikipedia. Hit random article. Click on any random link to take you to the next page – see what you can find. I usually like to take it to 5 or 6 steps and see what I land on.

Game #1: Paper Canyon to Ballcock

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paper_Canyon

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doncaster

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Doncaster

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballcock

Paper Canyon is a CD from British rock band Codes in the Clouds. They recorded the CD in Doncaster.

Doncaster is a town in South Yorkshire, England. It’s popularly referred to as “Donny”. Famous people from Donny? Well there’s plenty of professional footballers, BBC actors, and musicians only famous in England – names Americans have probably never heard. But then I saw Thomas Crapper’s name.

Thomas Crapper? Yeah, no big deal… he’s credited with popularizing the modern flushing toilet. Get it? CRAPPER! Crapper didn’t invent the crapper but he did put his name all over toilets, giving us the nickname for the commode. He did develop some important bathroom related inventions like the ballcock.

Yeah, the ballcock. It’s the thing in your toilet that fills the water tank without letting it overflow. Here’s a diagram.

Game #2: 1990 Cincinnati Bengals season to Manta Ray

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1990_Cincinnati_Bengals_season

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boomer_Esiason

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Chef_America

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manta_ray

Random article brought me to the 1990 Cincinnati Bengals season. While the numbers mean very little to me, it looks like they did better than the Houston Oilers, Steelers, and the Browns that year.

Boomer Esiason (what a name, although it doesn’t beat Thomas Crapper) set a franchise record that season with the most passing yards in one game.

Boomer is now a “color commentator” for games and does things like guest judge Iron Chef America.

Iron Chef America is based off the Japanese Iron Chef. Apparently one of the best episodes was between Mario Batali and Jamie Oliver. Battle: Cobia.

What’s cobia? Don’t confuse it with the member of the Ringgold Isles archipelago in Fiji, (Cobia Island) or the Romanian commune (Cobia, Dâmboviţa) or the United States Navy submarine (USS Cobia (SS-245).) It’s a type of fish.

They primarily eat crabs and will follow around sharks and manta rays in hopes of finding food. They’re curious fish and are not scared of boats.

Favorite fact about manta rays: Manta rays frequently visit cleaning stations where small fish such as wrasse, remora, and angelfish swim in the manta's gills and over its skin to feed, in the process cleaning it of parasites and dead tissue. Like other species in the shark family they must swim to keep from sinking, so that their stay at a cleaning station is characterized by slow circuits.

While it’s not linked on the Wikipedia page, when I hear manta ray, I think Spice World.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiceworld_(film)

Geri: Did you know, that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?

Victoria: And then there's the little ginger one, that is full of useless information, about manta rays!

Just me?

Game #3: Cedillo del Condado to the many Toledo’s

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cedillo_del_Condado

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo_(province)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo,_Spain

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo_(disambiguation)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo,_Illinois

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo,_Iowa

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo,_Oregon

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo,_Washington

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo,_Ohio

Random article gifted me with Cedillo del Condado, which is a municipality in the province of Toledo, Spain.

In the province, only about 1/9 of the population live in the capital Toledo.

Toledo, Spain has been a sister city with Toledo, OH since 1931.

Toledo, OH is the fourth most populous city in Ohio. It’s by far the most populous of all of the US Toledo’s (the metro Toledo area has over 650,000 people).

Toledo, Illinois – less than 2,000

Toledo, Iowa – around 2,500

Toledo, Oregon – Named after Toledo, OH by a homesick former resident Joseph D. Graham, Toledo, OR has around 3,000 residents.

The smallest Toledo goes to Toledo, Washington – 725 people according to the 2010 census.

i love target but absolutely hate their website.

2011-09-06T20:06:00.000-04:00

Like many others, I am in a head over heels love relationship with Target. Tar-zhay to be fancy... which I am. I can go into Target, planning only to buy shampoo and leave with a cart full of items and a nearly $100 bill. It happens. I wander Target, love to browse the clearance, inevitably find something I cannot live without, and leave happy. I used to frequent Target all the time, since my last job was just down the street, but now my Target trips are more spread out. It takes more time and effort to get to a Target here so I can't go as easily as before. I cherish my trips. Last time I went, I bought a clearance dress for under $15, Parks & Rec Season 2 on DVD for under $15, a bracelet, toothpaste, 2 candles, a toaster for $6.24, and bagels. I love it.

Here's what I have never understood about Target - their website. It sucks. It's not that it's not a pretty site because it can be visually appealing. It's bright red and branded properly so you know it is Target. Trying to find anything on that site is horrible. It's rare to actually find anything online that is then carried in the store - I've had hopes and dreams dashed too many times finding some adorable pair of shoes or outfit online only to never find anything like it in stores. I have to try on shoes and most clothes before I buy them. I can't do that with online shopping.

Even when I'm trying to online shop on Target's site, I have an awful time doing it. Their search feature is miserable, their material is mislabeled and not priced the same as store equivalents, and it gives me thousands of results with not enough options to help me narrow it down.

Example to support my complaint: Today marked the release of new TV shows on DVD - the most recent seasons of Community, The Office, and Parks & Recreation all went on sale today. I have been pricing out how much each season costs on Amazon, Best Buy, and I tried to do the same with Target... they do not make it easy.

They don't have an easy to browse TV on DVD section, like they do in their stores. I finally found my way to the TV category and couldn't browse or sort by title, couldn't easily filter down the options to just see comedy... not good. I tried doing a keyword search and finally found Parks & Rec's new season (not cheap enough for me to want to buy it right away). A search for The Office produced office chairs and after some deeper searching, all six previous seasons but not season 7. Community... see for yourself what that search produced.

The Community. That's not the name of the show. You have a picture of the box - does it say THE Community? Also, the first season DVD set has 4 discs. Not 3. Really, Target? Two factual errors in one product description? Not good.

A search for Season Two gave me this:

6679 results for "community second season" - most relevant in Target.com's eyes? tents. big tents. community tents? seasonal tents? second... tents?

So not helpful. I just wish that the site was more intuitive and more like my in store experiences, which I enjoy. I would buy more for Target.com if it weren't such a shithole to use.

For now, I'll continue to go to Amazon for online ordering and leave my lazy weekend afternoons to loitering in Target for hours and buying the most random assortment of items possible.

happy friday.

2011-08-26T22:31:00.000-04:00

oh, etsy. you and your cute bird accessories.

I have a folder on my computer called "random" where I save pictures of things I've seen online and like. Whether I'm thinking about buying it or if it just tickles my fancy at the moment, I save things there... here are a handful of my randoms for friday night.

I want one in the shape of Ohio.

yes. I need this in real life to show my approval or distaste.

salt & pepper shakers! two peas in a pod. adorable.

this is a collage of converse shoes.

this image is a real warning sticker...

don't put babies in plastic bins and close the lid. gotcha.

the snowy day. good book.

i should probably own these. purple peep toe pumps. alliteration!

yum.

true.

Who is she and why does she have her own song?

2011-07-27T20:35:00.009-04:00

First, let me state the obvious. The 90s Are All That on TeenNick is the best idea they've ever had. I can only hope they continue and bring on more shows - I'm looking forward to some game shows (Legends of the Hidden Temple! Guts! Double Dare! Figure It Out!)

Watching All That and Kenan & Kel again made me realize a few things.
1. Kenan Thompson is funniest when he's speaking French. I just wish they let him do Weekend Update in a bathtub.

Pierre Escargot

Jean K. Jean

2. Kel loves orange soda.

Non-Nickelodeon but still regarding 90s TV -

Listen to this:

I'm the baby, gotta love me! Not the mama!

Same voice as...

Elmo.

Discovering that recently was an a-ha moment for me. Baby in Dinosaurs = Elmo. Crazy.

The 90s had great shows - and even better theme songs. It always makes me wonder how my brain works that I can remember all the words to almost all of these songs... but can't tell you most of what I learned through high school and even college.

Get ready for a YouTube overload.

What's up, Breaker High era Ryan Gosling?

While the show was nothing compared to the movie, I definitely watched it.

(Yes, that's Rockapella performing that live a few years ago... wish I could find a clip of when Jimmy Fallon busts out his Rockapella skit. Speaking of Jimmy Fallon, remember when he reunited the cast of California Dreams? I love him.)

Because this is getting insane and I could probably keep going forever... I leave you with:

They started playing this song as we were filing out of The Price is Right taping we went to July 5th. At first, I was singing along with the lyrics but couldn't figure out why I knew the words... then I remembered. Cleveland rocks! :)

*(Obviously I'd include Family Matters and Full House here as well but I couldn't find any on YouTube that would allow for embedding onto my blog so you'll have to sing those to yourself and search them out on your own.)*

you don't need that.

2011-07-18T20:20:00.003-04:00

preface: i write this with no intentions of offending anyone's past or present wedding registry lists. this is not about a particular person/couple - it's a collective sense of the weddings i've attended the past few years.

wedding registries. i look forward to going on the registry shopping trips myself, with the scanner, creating a dream wish list of items. what i've noticed though is how the reality of owning those items doesn't always connect with the scanner happy couples, lost in the beyond of bed, bath, and beyond.

here's something i refuse to register for when i get married: napkin rings. napkin rings! what twentysomething uses napkin rings, ever? my formal southern GRANDPARENTS on fancy holiday meals when china and silver comes out don't even bust out napkin rings. you know why? they are useless.

and let's talk about the fact that most couples live together before they get married. i intend to do the same. at this point in our lives, we're not right out of college anymore - we've been living in the grown up world, in apartments or houses together, so i don't believe you when you say you need basic items. like kitchen utensils. or towels. or a laundry basket. i understand wanting nicer versions of those things but are you just going to throw away everything that you have right now? or do you really need 2-3 of everything? and listen - if you are a couple that doesn't even have friends over for pizza or beer now, why do you think that when you get married, you are suddenly going to be hosting dinner parties so frequently that you need 40 matching dinner plates, a giant punch bowl and ladle, and 3 formal chip and dip servers? you don't.

industrial cheese slicer: how often do you have blocks of cheese that just can't be cut with a regular knife? you NEED a cheese slicer that looks like a school paper cutter?

strawberry huller: i didn't even know this existed. using your hands or a knife just takes too much time for regular strawberry consumption? are you making strawberry jam and you need to quickly get rid of the leafy part? i don't think you make jam. and if you make jam, why haven't i had any?!

spice rack: if you don't cook more than boxed mac and cheese and sandwiches, don't ask me for a $90 spice rack just so your kitchen counter looks sophisticated.

$300 bedspread: nope. that's not necessary.

a banana hanger and two fruit bowls: how much fruit do you eat?! why can't your bananas associate with your other fruit?

creme brule torch: this is clearly a husband choice. "oh, fire!" creme brule? really? how often are you making that at your house? let's be real.

to save myself from seeming like the biggest hypocrite in the world, i may be registering for some of these things... i mean, not the napkin rings or strawberry huller... but I get it. It's the ideal. it's your wish list.

but seriously, everytime i shop for a wedding i think, "hmmm... do I want to spend $75-100 on something I know they'll absolutely never use?" and for those couples that you know shouldn't be getting married to begin with or that you're the plus one and don't know the couple at all or distant relatives you haven't seen for years... it's hard to spend that money.

british slang and ten dollar words: translating russell brand's booky wook 2

2011-06-29T23:14:00.002-04:00

In just two chapters of Russell Brand’s “Booky Wook 2”, I highlighted 20 words or phrases that I don’t know or understand and have had to look them up. Crazy Brit. Some slang I was able to pick up on or understand using context clues and I knew some of the SAT worthy words he likes to use – but these 20 required some Googling/Wikipedia searching.

· Vainglorious - big: feeling self-importance; "too big for his britches"
· Fizzog – British slang for face (in use at least from the 1940s – abbreviation of ‘physiognomy’, which means “A person's facial features or expression, esp. when regarded as indicative of character or ethnic origin.”)
· “A piece of Battenberg and a cuppa” – Battenberg is a type of cake (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battenberg_cake) and cuppa is British slang for “a cup of tea”
· Pestilence - A fatal epidemic disease, esp. bubonic plague.
· Ineluctable - Unable to be resisted or avoided; inescapable
· Barmy - zestful: marked by spirited enjoyment
· “when Billy Connolly went on Parky” – Billy Connolly is a Scottish comedian and actor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Connolly). Parky is short for “Parkinson”, a popular British TV talk show in the 70s - Billy Connolly appeared on the show 15 times.
· Firmament - The heavens or the sky, esp. when regarded as a tangible thing
· “any prat can nick a Mac” – prat = incompetent person/slang for butt. nick = steal. So, “any asshole can steal a Mac” basically.
· Recalcitrant - Having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward authority
· “rent boys” – slang for male prostitute
· Japes – practical jokes
· Arriviste - A self-seeking person who has recently acquired wealth or social status
· “by jingo” - The OED attests the first appearance in 1794, in an English edition of the works of François Rabelais as a translation for the French par Dieu! ("by God!"). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/By_Jingo)
· Wantaway onanists – wantaway… I can mostly find definitions that relate to soccer (or “football”) players who want to play for another club. Onanist = masturbator. HA!
· Apposite - Apt in the circumstances or in relation to something
· Snitchy little berks – snitchy = bad tempered. Berks = a mildly derogatory term for a silly person. (Thanks to Wikipedia for the ever helpful “List of British words not widely used in the United States”: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_words_not_widely_used_in_the_United_States. Also beneficial - List of words having different meanings in American and British English: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_words_having_different_meanings_in_American_and_British_English)
· Nasturtium – type of plant/flower
· Moussaka - A Greek dish made of minced lamb, eggplant, and tomatoes, with cheese on top
· Titchy – tiny, very small

And here are a few British names that are dropped that mean nothing to me:
· Babs Windsor http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Windsor
· Kathy Burke http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathy_Burke
· Jarvis Cocker http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jarvis_Cocker
· Shaun Ryder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaun_Ryder
· Jo Whiley http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jo_Whiley

It's worth reading if you are already a fan of Russell Brand's comedy. Some things to note: A) his unusual style of speaking and the interesting ways he uses language... if you've ever seen him as a guest on a talk show, this book sounds exactly like he speaks. B) Some familiarity with British slang/celebrities is useful (or if you have Google nearby to figure out what he means, you should be fine) and C) Do not read this if you are easily offended. This book is full of tales of his sexual exploits with multitudes of women, including a group of ladies who apparently referred to themselves as Satan's Sluts and engaged in group sex with Brand... So ladies might not be the best terminology... but yes. I find him very intriguing.

reminding myself that i like myself.

2011-06-16T00:04:00.004-04:00

this blog is generally an outlet for my pop culture observations - i don't usually use this to actually write about how i feel but today is the day.

so... sometimes i get jealous of other girls, just because they are different. which is totally lame. i had a moment like that this week. it was weird. like these girls are waif like thin and stylish or maybe they are super indie hipster cool and into underground bands and clubs or exotic and have this awesome cultural connection ... and i am not any of those things. at all. and it's super weird, i don't know if it's even true jealousy or what to call it but i guess sometimes it's a blow to my self esteem. and that doesn't happen often at this point in my life. i'm not an insecure teenager. i'm 26 and happy and in love and know that i'm usually pretty comfortable with me on the whole so i'm taken aback when i have feelings like that... It actually surprises me and i think it's harder to even process why i'm feeling that way and sometimes that manifests itself as being sad or getting angry at something or someone else unrelated - I think they call that kind of behavior transference. hmmm. anyway. Melissa and I sometimes call moments when we're feeling down and have weird emotions and sadness/panic out of nowhere a "Baby Mama moment".

allow me to explain. i saw "baby mama" at the theater when it came out and i thought it was cute and funny - i love tina fey and amy poehler. but after i walked out of the movie, instead of feeling happy about just seeing a funny comedy, i felt super sad. i started having a semi-anxiety attack - here's what was running through my mind: "OH MY GOD, what if I become Tina Fey's character? what if I never meet anyone? what if I don't get married? what if I'm in my mid 30s and still single and alone and everyone else isn't? i want babies. i want a family. what if I never have kids? what if I can't have kids?" all of these questions and more started flooding my brain to the point where i started crying. it made me so sad. questions like that are so hard because they don't have immediate answers and they are real and scary and you can get lost in the what if. I went and saw another movie immediately after that to cheer myself up (Thank you "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" for distracting me and making me feel better.)

here's another "baby mama" moment, actually triggered by another movie - "going the distance". another movie i enjoyed, i laughed, i recommend seeing it. Andy and I saw it together and when we left, instead of thinking "oh, here's a movie about long distance relationships, it was funny and ended hopefully", i broke down. i cried and became a mess. when we saw the movie, i was applying for jobs in cleveland but i didn't know what would happen. i panicked that i might not be able to find a job and could we continue long distance? i knew i didn't want to be in toledo anymore and it made me sad to think that i might not be able to leave, if i couldn't find anything. i also worried that if i did find a job, that i'd move out here and mess everything up. maybe Andy would realize that I was a crazy person or something and would decide he didn't like me anymore. I worried about the unknown future and I was scared about how I felt and I was scared about the fact that Andy didn't seem scared at all ... he never had a doubt that it was the right thing for me to do to move and for us to be together. he always assured me and helped get me through my fear.

so, i know that these "baby mama" moments happen sometimes. they just do. we're in our twenties and still figuring everything out. but they have to be moments or else I would drown. they have to pass. there's no use in freaking out about things you can't control. that's what i've learned ... or at least, tried to learn. i'm not a self help guru. you know. but like, i allow myself the time to be bummed and be Debbie Downer and maybe freak out about things but it has to have a limit. like, one night of crying myself to sleep and binging on cookie dough and letting myself list out every single worst case scenario about how my life could turn out - but I wake up the next day and decide it's a new day. I know there has to be a bounce back to try and focus on what I can control and be proactive in creating my own happiness.

self empowerment in a blog post. maybe. or emotional vomit. either way. this is mine and i can write what i want, so there. :)

songs i forgot existed, part II.

2011-06-08T20:54:00.003-04:00

I found a fantastic series on The AV Club called "Then That's What They Called Music", where a writer is listening to every single NOW CD and breaking down some of the tracks, talking about the artists, and being generally hilarious. It's also making me remember songs that I forgot existed until I watched the YouTube video and was like... OHHHHH Right. That song.

So, inspired by Then That's What They Called Music, I'm going through all 38 NOW CDs and sharing one track that I kind of forgot about, have genuinely never heard before, or generally just don't understand how it made it onto a compilation of today's biggest hits.

Starting from the beginning, 1998's classic NOW That's What I Call Music! (#1)
"Shorty (You Keep Playin' with My Mind)" - Imajin

#2
"When a Woman's Fed Up" - R. Kelly

#3
"Why I'm Here" - Oleander

#4
(Includes Sonique - Feels So Good, which I featured in my last "Songs I Forgot Existed" post so I'll defer to another song here)

"I Wanna Know" - Joe

#5
"Incomplete" - Sisqó

#6
(I do not know many R. Kelly songs. Other than "Ignition", "Trapped in the Closet", and "Feeling on Yo Booty")

"I Wish" - R. Kelly

#7
(Forgot Samantha Mumba had more than one single... and the chorus is a little similar to Christina's Come On Over Baby, no?)

"Baby, Come Over (This Is Our Night)" - Samantha Mumba

#8
(Hearing this reminds me of Kim Possible. BTW, funny story, I was in a movie this week with a bunch of 20 something bearded hipster dudes and someone's phone alert went off and it was the Kim Possible sound... and I laughed out loud. It was awesome.)

"AM to PM" - Christina Milian

...and just because

#9
(Again, forgot they had another single other than "What Would You Do?". The Then That's What They Called Music article on this made a good point: "“Caramel” is Claudette Ortiz’s valentine to herself. The chorus says it all: “5’5” with brown eyes (caramel-complected) / Smile like the sunrise (body like heaven).” Yes, Ortiz seems taken with herself, and with good reason, even though the first verse seems stolen from a Match.com profile. It wouldn’t take much work to transform it into a personal ad like this: “5’5” brown-eyed Caramel-complected looker with smile like the sunrise and a body like heaven seeks open-minded man who wouldn’t mind betraying his best friend and breaking up his group for me. I’m not into big names, but I like nice things. I watch boxing matches and football games. I wouldn’t mind being an actress, but I love to sing. I like to go out, taking walks and stuff. I don’t run with many girls, because they talk too much. I enjoy quiet nights at home. I’ll curl up next to you. Though I ain’t a virgin, that don’t mean I’m going to have sex with you." Ha.)

"Caramel" - City High

#10
"Don't Say Goodbye" - Paulina Rubio

#11
(I definitely know this beat since it's used all the time but forgot about the song that went with it.)

N.O.R.E. - "Nothin'"

#12
Kelly Rowland – "Stole"

#13
Lisa Marie Presley - "Lights Out"

#14
Thalia ft Fat Joe - "I Want You"

#15
(I looked at this song and absolutely could not remember it at all... Listen to the video and I'm sure you'll remember it like I did. She called his pager and his two way! Very timely. It's like Bug-a-Boo.)

Sarah Connor - "Bounce"

#16
Chingy featuring J Weav - "One Call Away"

#17
Nelly featuring Jaheim - "My Place"

#18
(I actually remember Skye Sweetnam because my sisters had her CD... however, I remember a horrible song about "Billy" Shakespeare, not this one.)

Skye Sweetnam - "Tangled Up in Me"

here we go - sorry, in advance.

#19
Amerie – "1 Thing"

#20
(I consider myself a DC fan, do not remember this one at all. Maybe because it's kind of awful. There are lines where Beyonce offers to help take off her man's cufflinks, run his bathwater, and brush his hair. Yeah.)

Destiny's Child - "Cater 2 U"

#21
(It's all coming back to me now, as Celine says... This is the gem that includes the lyric "slap your grandma". Classy.)

Trace Adkins - "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"

#22
(Aw, poor former O-Town member. He tried to have a solo career. And had an MTV reality show during that time. Forgot about that. It was around the same time as Ashlee Simpson's show, back when she was dating Ryan Cabrera, right? Random.)

Ashley Parker Angel – "Let U Go"

#23
(I have NO recollection of Teddy Geiger having more than one song past "For You I Will"... which is a different song from Monica's ballad from Space Jam, also titled "For You I Will")

Teddy Geiger - "These Walls"

#24
Bow Wow featuring Chris Brown & Johnta Austin – "Shortie Like Mine"

#25
(Did you know Beyonce and Shakira did a song together?)

Beyoncé and Shakira – "Beautiful Liar"

#26
Fabolous featuring Ne-Yo - "Make Me Better"

#27
(I think I purposely blocked this one because this is what made me really dislike T. Swift at first... this ridiculous teenage girl I'm crying on my guitar and writing in my diary because some douche named Drew doesn't know I'm alive... It wasn't until later that I realized I dig Tay Tay and forgive her for this.)

Taylor Swift - "Teardrops on My Guitar"

#28
Flex featuring Belinda – "Te Quiero"

#29
Yung Berg featuring Casha – "The Business"

#30
"18 Days" - Saving Abel

#31
(So ..... this was a hit song. It gave out a phone number that was the best part to sing along to - 678-triple9-8212. Wikipedia tells me "The telephone number given in the song, if dialled from the United States, connects to a message system for the artist. An unsuspecting family in Oldham, Greater Manchester, found themselves inundated with calls from fans in the UK who dialed the number without using the international dialling code prefix for the United States" hahahahaha. Did we learn nothing from Tommy TuTone?)

"Kiss Me Thru the Phone" - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em featuring Sammie

#32
"Throw It in the Bag" - Fabolous featuring The Dream

#33
(This is one of the "bonus tracks" on the CD that I heard once or twice on the radio and just thought WHY?)

"Shake That Bubble" - Young & Divine

#34
"Heart Heart Heartbreak" - Boys Like Girls

#35
(Jaron, as in Evan and Jaron, is now a country singer. Kind of a funny, but dark, song. Never heard it before today but I can dig it.)

"Pray for You" - Jaron and the Long Road to Love

#36
(I just have to mention that mixed in with the radio hits from late 2010, most of which are still played now, a bonus track on this CD is Elvis. ????)

"Suspicious Minds" (Bonus Track)- Elvis Presley

#37
(I know the beat - from a commercial maybe?)

"Stereo Love" - Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina

#38
(I've been hearing this on the radio and meaning to look up who sang it ... it's catchy and name drops Zach Galifianakis. So now I know. Hot Chelle Rae. Hey, here's some trivia. Sam from Glee - Chord Overstreet - is in this music video. Why? His brother, Nash Overstreet, is in the band. There you go.)

"Tonight Tonight" - Hot Chelle Rae

don't you worry your pretty striped head

2011-06-01T20:55:00.004-04:00

A review I wrote of the Hangover 2 on Twitter made it on Entertainment Weekly's website today.

@franceshouseman -- #hangover2: feels like writers played mad libs w original plot (replace Vegas w Bangkok; baby w monkey; lost tooth w face tattoo)#EWExitPoll

That being said, I did enjoy the movie. When I watch a movie, I rate it in my mind in the following ways:

1. If it's a comedy, did it make me laugh out loud? / Drama - did it make me think? / Horror - did it make me jump?
2. Was there anything unexpected and unusual that surprised me?
3. Would I pay to see the movie in theaters again?
4. Is it Netflix worthy? (Would I rent it on DVD?)
5. Do I want to own the movie when it comes out on DVD?

Hangover II
-Made me laugh out loud, especially at Zack Galifianakis and Ken Jeong. They are the best parts of the movie. And the monkey. The monkey is cool.
-I was surprised by some aspects of the movie but I think because the first movie was so unexpected and shocking that the second wasn't able to meet that same level. To expand on my 140 character review, the writers saw that they had a good thing in the first movie so they just took the bare outline of the first plot and filled in the blanks.

first movie || second movie
Doug's wedding || Stu's wedding
Vegas || Bangkok
"We lost Doug!" || "We lost Teddy!"
Stu lost a tooth || Stu has a face tattoo
Found a baby & a tiger || Found a monkey & a finger
Mr. Cho is chasing us || Men chasing Mr. Cho are chasing us
Stu loves stripper/prostitute || Stu loves trans stripper/prostitute

In both movies:
Allen drugs the wolf pack.
Allen loves the Jonas Brothers.
Mike Tyson appears.
Stu sings a song, recapping their adventures.
Pictures during the credits of the night they can't remember.
Bad guys chasing them/beating them up.
Male nudity.

NY Mag made some of the same points in an article they wrote: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/05/review_the_hangover_part_ii_in.html

Looking at some of my other criteria:

-I would not pay to see it again.
-I might Netflix it, if there are special features on the DVD (gag reel, etc..)
-I don't have an interest in owning this movie.

Looking at another movie that I enjoyed much more than Hangover 2: Bridesmaids
-Made me laugh out loud - Melissa McCarthy and the cute cop boyfriend win for best stars of the movie.
-I was surprised at how much heart the movie had, while still being hysterical and having shocking gross out moments too.

Bridesmaids had some very real moments - "I don't want to leave my apartment, this is my place, I like my bathtub!" and realizing that marriage changes girl friendships... seeing your best friends become friends with other people and changing and growing into a different place in life than you are... having a pity party and needing to realize that you are responsible for you and your happiness - saying things like "I don't have any friends" to a friend trying to help you... a cute love interest who looks like the kind of guy that you actually see in real life, not like a Disney prince... the douchey f*buddy Jon Hamm played to a T... just good all around.

-I paid to see it twice in the theater.
-I want to buy it when it comes out on DVD because I know I can watch it over again and still enjoy it at home.

dear facebook....

2011-05-24T21:29:00.005-04:00

Dear Facebook and FB users,

General FB ettiquette states that you do not congratulate someone on their wall about an engagement or pregnancy until they themselves have made that news facebook official. Usually people spread that news out and tell their friends and family in more personal, direct methods like face to face or over the phone first before they post it up on the old FB. If you are of the lucky few who have received a call or text notifying you of such news (or heard through the grapevine from someone who was notified directly), it is not your place to share that news on Facebook if the involved parties have not yet shared that information with the world. If you're thinking to yourself, "Man, I heard that my buddy got engaged yesterday and I want to celebrate it on his/my facebook wall" - check to see if the relationship status has changed. If it hasn't, don't do it. If no one else has written anything - don't do it. If there's not a status/note/pictures sharing the ring/baby bump/whatever, it is not your place to be the one to tell every single facebook friend their news. That bothers me.

While I'm ranting about Facebook, here are a few observations...
1. I think the "It's complicated" status should only be used for humorous purposes. No one should seriously be in a "it's complicated" relationship on FB. We're adults.
2. Why can't I list my stepmom as a family member? I could however choose between Cousin (Male) and Cousin (Female). Is that distinction necessary? Nope.
3. Why can't I see my old wall posts (pre-2007)? Those are the posts I really want to see, from the early days of Facebook and college adventures.
4. I want to be able to view pictures in a slideshow format. With up to 200 photos in an album, it'd be a much more convenient way to view the pics.
5. I wish it were easier to separate out my real friends and family from people I really don't care about and my likes and interests. Sometimes my newsfeed feels like a big commercial for the TV shows and musicians I like.

I've observed that FB tends to bring out my bitchy judgemental thoughts too. I think "Wow, your boyfriend has gay face" or "Put your boobs away" at least once a day looking through my newsfeed or recently updated pictures. I have found that I'm harsher on people whose maturity levels are rapidly decreasing the older they get. People in their mid to late 20s on FB should not feel the need to post song lyrics on their friends walls/as status messages, usually spelled in alternating uPpEr aND loWEr case letters with a lot of *** and <3 <3 <3 because we're not in junior high. It's also interesting to use FB as a gauge for the end of relationships and see how people handle that transition from "In a Relationship" or "Married" to "Single".

Finally, if you really don't like a picture of yourself, untag it. Don't poke strangers. Don't be FB friends with someone that doesn't have a profile picture (unless they are old and just can't figure out how to set it up). Don't trust real life people who don't have a FB page. Don't use your facebook status to fish for compliments (Posts like "Ugh, I'm so fat" or "God, why don't I have a boyfriend?!" are unaccepatble.) Update your profile picture if it's more than 6 months old. Don't be stupid and think that people won't look through public FB pictures - it will happen. Don't act like FB is pointless and silly but then have a profile and post quiz results and your FarmVille activity. That's hypocritical. And speaking of FarmVille - stop that nonsense.

With love,
Melissa

songs i forgot existed.

2011-05-22T21:35:00.002-04:00

I grabbed a few random mix CDs from high school and college out of my box of CDs to listen to in my car. There are some songs I re-discovered on these CDs that I kind of forgot existed.

Toya - I Do

Cherish - Do It To It

Christina Aguilera and Ricky Martin - Nobody Wants to be Lonely

Sonique - It Feels So Good

Nick Cannon - Gigolo

Alice Deejay - Better Off Alone

Paris Hilton's attempt at a singing career - Stars are Blind

Soul Decision - Ooh It's Kind of Crazy (I remember Faded but forgot they had other singles... like this one.)

BSB - Drowning (This is one of the BSB songs that completely left my brain, even though my research tells me this was a TRL #1 song for a long time in 2001, which was prime TRL watching time... This came on a CD and I was humming along and knew it sounded like BSB but I have no recollection of it.)

twentysix.

2011-05-17T00:50:00.002-04:00

sometimes i feel overwhelmed with how loved i am. i am lucky and blessed and where i am meant to be.

thank you.

saturday morning internet spiral.

2011-04-30T08:28:00.007-04:00

Here are some random things I've stumbled upon this week, all started by posts on my newsfeed.

First, there was Glee this week.

So, a friend from college posted up a link to GoBarbra.com. I made one for myself.

... then I started thinking about other songs named after people

...and that led me to googling Kate Middleton's beautiful wedding dress so I could admire it again, since everyone was comparing it to Grace Kelly's wedding dress

... and then I wanted to see her 2nd dress for the private reception because I loved that sparkly belt.

Rosanna and I watched 3 straight hours of Royal Wedding recap/coverage last night and it was amazing.

My next trail led me from Facebook into a Wikipedia wormhole. Get ready to learn!

I am a fan of The Office on Facebook and yesterday, it shared an article from NYMag about researchers from the University of Washington who invented a software system aimed to get computers to understand "That's what she said."

The original article was from New Scientist, which featured this awesome accompanying picture...

That article, while explaining "That's what she said", says: "The equivalent in the UK is appending sentences with "as the actress said to the bishop" and is used in the same way."

Say what?

The crazy Brits. What does that expression even mean? So, I headed to Wikipedia. And it did not really explain why people say that. But I got distracted because I learned that "The phrase is an example of a Wellerism, a literal "turn" of a phrase, changing its meaning."

So, of course, I had to look up Wellerism, which comes from Sam Weller in Dickens's "The Pickwick Papers" (which I had to read in my horrible Dickens class in college yet, I don't know if I did). An example of a Wellerism is: "So I see," said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw.

And a special type of Wellerism is called a Tom Swifty. How delightful. Wikipedia tells me that "A Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed." Just reading that probably doesn't make much sense. The examples explain it better:

"The robber is coming down the stairs," said Tom condescendingly. (Get it, a robber coming down stairs is a con descending?)

"Nnnn", Tom murmured forensically. (sound out forensic - 4 N's ic)

"I dropped my toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen.
"Only one of my speakers works!" said Tom monotonously.
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

Pure awesome.

30 "day" song challenge.

2011-04-19T22:45:00.009-04:00

Instead of spreading this out over 30 days, I'm killing time tonight in one blog post.

day 01 - your favorite song // Ben Folds - The Luckiest
*Don't know if it's all time favorite but it's definitely in my top five*

day 02 - your least favorite song // Hinder - Lips of an Angel
*Tough choice but again, top five most hated songs.*

day 03 - a song that makes you happy // Ace of Base - Don't Turn Around
*This is the kind of song that will come on the radio and make me so happy that I will think about it all day. No joke. It's just so awesome.*

day 04 - a song that makes you sad // Carrie Underwood - Temporary Home
*Okay, so listen. I don't really listen to country music but I heard her perform this somewhere and I was a teary eyed mess... This and Sarah McLachlan playing while the ASPCA tells me about one eyed cats will do it to me everytime.*

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone // Fine Young Cannibals - She Drives Me Crazy
*This is a random one. This was on the radio once in college and we were singing along and Melissa thought the lyrics were "She drives me crazy, like cold hard cash." And I still laugh every single time I just think about that. So this song reminds me of MWhite.*

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere // Madonna - Like a Prayer
*NDA... and it feels like home.*

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event // Howie Day - Collide
*One of the Holy Trinity retreat songs. Our version was sung by James and Holly and is still hands down better than the original, in my opinion.*

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to // Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise
*Don't hate.*

day 09 - a song that you can dance to // Ke$ha - Your Love is My Drug
*What song can't I dance to? But Ke$ha especially brings out my need to dance.*

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep // Aqualung - Brighter than Sunshine
*I had this on a mix CD in college that I would listen to in bed and would usually fall asleep listening to either this or Anna Nalick*

day 11 - a song from your favorite band // The Swell Season - When Your Mind's Made Up
*Again, hard to say favorite but top five. So passionate and beautiful.*

day 12 - a song from a band you hate // Creed - With Arms Wide Open
*I can't take his voice.*

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure // Lemonade Mouth - Determinate
*Yes, this is from a Disney channel original movie that just aired. That I DVR'd and watched on my own. No younger sisters to blame. Yes.*

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love // Ludacris - My Chick Bad
*Balloons!*

day 15 - a song that describes you // Jamie Cullum - Twentysomething
*I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key. I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me.*

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate // ... I don't hate anything that I used to love. There are some things I used to be into that I'm not into anymore. Like Limp Bizkit, for example. I was a big Limp Bizkit fan in high school. Not so much as an adult. So, I guess: Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio // Katy Perry and Kanye - ET
*Yeah, it's a song about aliens... It's catchy. I like Katy and Kanye. But still. It's a song about aliens.*

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio // Adele - Make You Feel My Love
*Gorgeous cover*

day 19 - a song from your favorite album // John Mayer - Love Song for No One
*Room for Squares is one of my faves.*

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry // Cee Lo - Fuck You
*I listen to this for fun too but it's always fun to drop the f bomb when you're pissed. I mostly just wanted to share this video of a sign language interpretation of the song.*

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy // Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz - Get Low
*To the windowwwwww.... to the walllll!*

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad // Jason Mraz - Unfold
*I listen to this to cheer me up if I'm sad. "My hands are high and I'm holding on, holding on... I figure that I just might make it"*

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding // Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home
*Home is whenever I'm with you*

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral // Band of Horses - The Funeral
*Just so people know they're in the right place? Also because it's a great song.*

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh // Aaron Carter - That's How I Beat Shaq
*It's a classic.*

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument // Hot Cross Buns
*I needed to share this video since it starts with a guy saying "Hey there, congratulations on your decision to play the recorder!"*

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play // Billy Joel - Piano Man
*I wish that I could play the piano like my dad and youngest sisters can ... I would play Billy Joel tunes if I could.*

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty // Rebecca Black - Friday
*Guilty. I've listened to this more than once.*

day 29 - a song from your childhood // Raffi - Baby Beluga
*Dude, I love Raffi.*

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year // Young Money - Bedrock
*Yes, I am following up Raffi with this classy hit from last year. How can I resist a song that includes lyrics like "Now we murderers, because we kill time", "Shake and bake, Ricky Bobby" and "Call me Mr. Flinstone, I can make your bedrock"? Come on.

cinema.

2011-04-13T20:31:00.005-04:00

here's something I don't understand - why is popcorn movie theater food? and nachos? why would you have noisy snack choices when you're supposed to be in a quiet theater? i don't want to hear strangers chomping on their gallon of popcorn for 2 hours. it gives me chills. in a bad way. not good like "oh, i have goosebumps because i'm emotionally moved by the moment" chills - no. like, fingernails on a chalkboard, i feel compelled to physically plug my ear(s), can't take it chills. gross.

speaking of movies, Andy and I went to the Cleveland International Film Festival and the best movie we saw was called Hayfever (well, the english translation was Hayfever)

adorable Italian romantic comedy. highly recommend it. one of the best movies i've seen so far this year.

I'm also on a Jake Gyllenhall kick - went to see Source Code and just watched Love and Other Drugs a few days ago. Both good, not great. Source Code was entertaining enough, not bad - I also don't think it's super memorable but it's fun. Love and Other Drugs was different than I expected but I liked it... Could have done without seeing Anne Hathaway's boobs all over the place but whatevs. The movie was set in the 90s and opened with a Spin Doctors song and some funny Jake G moments so I can't complain about that. and c'mon. seriously. look at this man.

who is to blame for these horrible old navy ads?

2011-02-25T23:16:00.006-05:00

I love Old Navy. I shop there frequently, I live in their flip flops all summer long, and I can spend hours lost in their clearance sections. This is why it saddens me how annoying and ridiculous their marketing efforts have always been. Their latest round of ads are really bugging me.

First, there was Super C-U-T-E with the Kim Kardashian meets Black Eyed Peas wannabes, singing about how she's super c-u-t-e even when she gets a root canal and in "any life situation".

So, clearly that was horrible. I mean, is it better than those mannequins Old Navy has been milking for years? I wouldn't say better... maybe a different kind of awful.

Then it got worse. I saw this ad last week:

Welcome to the ankle show?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Who is trying to sell us on sexy ankles? Is this the Middle East? If I didn't know better, I'd think it was a parody, like one of SNL's fake commercials... the rapper does kind of sound like Andy Samberg.

I found out who is responsible - this NYTimes article informs me that an advertising agency called Crispin Porter & Bogusky are the culprits.

Guess what else those bastards have brought upon us? THE BURGER KING.

Yes, the Burger King who haunts your dreams. Blame those guys for your nightmares.

seacrest out.

2011-02-18T20:11:00.008-05:00

Fun discovery of the week: Netflix Watch Instantly now has every season of SNL available to watch immediately. Just like when the eps are on Hulu, the musical acts are cut out but most of the sketches are intact and hilarious. I went back and watched this season's premiere with Amy Poehler (with cameos by JT) and relived the wonder of Gemini's Twin. My family's favorite is the one with Lucy Liu, in what I believe is her best acting role as Binaca, the newest member of Gemini's Twin. (Season 26, Episode 8) My mom still likes to say and sign things as "Yo mama who had you... minivan." No joke.

Let's talk about American Idol. So, for the past few years, I've gotten sucked into regular Idol viewership. I watched the first 2 seasons in high school and then completely stopped throughout college. Just because I like pop culture, I kept up with the winners and wasn't totally in the dark on what was happening but I did not watch every week - in fact, I think there were some seasons I did not see at all. Post-college, it became a tradition to watch AI with my youngest sisters and stepmom. My first real dedicated season was Season 7, the David Cook/Archuleta years. (Still have a soft spot for Mr. Cook, even if he's a little too Daughtry for me and his hair can lean a little heavy on the overproducted tip... When we met him on the AI tour that summer, he was wearing a hat and I was good with that.)

I was nervous about this season with an overhaul of the judges but J.Lo and Steven Tyler have surprised me -I don't hate them. I like them both more than I ever liked Kara and even though I love Ellen on her show, she was a useless judge. I think J.Lo and Steven still have to prove themselves once they get to the live shows but so far, better than I expected.

That being said, I also think they've been too easy on some contestants this year and they're allowing themselves to be swayed by emotional overreactions and sob stories. Sure, every year has it's share of sob stories (i.e. "my parents are divorced", "my relative was sick and my singing got them through their illness", "my wife passed away" etc...) But this year has been blowing my mind with the fact that they're pushing people through the auditions and Hollywood week with subpar voices because either a) they are sobbing and going into emotional crisis meltdown on stage or b) the American Idol producers can play sad music over a montage about their struggles.

Cases in point, that are driving me crazy thus far:

1. Ashley. This girl has meth face and scares me. I'm sorry, that's mean but... for reals.

She's not a bad singer, per se, but she's not really that good either. Let's be honest. If she got up to sing karaoke at the bar, I would say, "Hey, she's not bad", not "Get that girl a record deal, I want to hear her sing every single week on national TV!" There's no way she's going to make it to the Top 20. No way. Yet, they seem to keep her on because she makes for good drama filled TV with her near nervous breakdowns every episode. She wanted to go home during group week and they should have let her. She was off key in her group song and totally messed up a good Michael Buble tune during her solo singing and they kept that crazy face through for the next round. I'm thinking the judges feel bad because she's a crier and the producers think, "YAY! A crazy person we can focus the camera on!" It's giving the poor girl false hopes to think she has a chance on this show or in the industry. Go back home with your nice boyfriend and live your life. Don't break down emotionally for freaking American Idol.

I've been reading Paul F. Tompkin's hilarious Idol recaps, which I highly recommend, and he feels similarly about the Ashley situation:

Of all the people who made it through, I’d like to single out two. One is Ashley Sullivan. This bothers me, because Ashley is clearly not emotionally strong enough to be in this competition. And the producers know it. Perhaps they are gambling on some sort of redemption for Ashley; maybe she’ll toughen up as the show goes on and it’ll make for an inspiring story that the viewers can get choked up about. But more likely, we “get to” watch this young girl go through agony on national television before she is finally sent home and told she doesn’t have the strength to do this. Which we all pretty much already know. Obviously, we only see what the producers want us to see, but if this is what they want us to see, I feel it borders on the cruel.

2a) Chris Medina
2b) James Durbin

I've combined both of these characters into one number but they get an a and b because I actually want to like one of them and really don't like the other.

2a) Chris Medina - His fiance was in a horrible accident that left her wheelchair bound and barely able to function. He has stuck with her through it all and helps take care of her. Their story made me tear up, they really pimped out his audition, and when he sang, I liked him. It wasn't earth shattering but it was likeable. He has an Adult Contemporary kind of voice (The Fray, The Script, Plain White T's, you get the idea). Definitely worth moving onto Hollywood.

Sadly, when he got to Hollywood, everytime they've shown him singing (with one slight exception), I've been disappointed. He's been off key, off beat, just lackluster. Yet, he's remained while others were sent packing - because of his story. The snippet of his performance of "My Prerogative" by Bobby Brown was entertaining and I think offered an idea of what he's possible of but he seems rather uneven and not a charasmatic performer.

2b) James Durbin - Now, here's the kid I don't understand his appeal at all. His sob story is that he has Asperger's and Tourette's (very high functioning, you know if the cameras had caught any symptoms, they would be exploiting it non-stop). He also has a young baby and no job so they love the idea that he's living his dream, overcoming the odds, doing this for his kid! He sings and I just don't like it. He's an Adam Lambert rip off with all the theatrics and screaming. I don't get it. I didn't like it in Lambert's season either. That was just 2 years ago - how can they call this guy original and pimp him out as one of the best! auditions! ever! when Adam Lambert was doing the same thing? James took over his group song and showboated a useless glory note and I just dread having to listen to him do that crap every week. Plus, he dresses like a douchebag. Seriously, guy? You're going to stick with that bandana/faux hawk look? Not a good choice.

So, enough of my negative Nancy thoughts. Here's who I dig:

Casey Abrams

Paul McDonald

*They haven't really shown him since his audition so I don't know if he's even still in the game but I like this guy.

There were a few good auditions but I believe they're either already gone or they've just not shown them at all.

I thought that Janelle Arthur was good but apparently in Hollywood she didn't do well (even though we didn't get to hear her sing) so that's a bummer:

Jackie Wilson

Scott Dangerfield

Dorky charmer. A little Googling tells me he took himself out of the competition to stay in school and focus on his studies. Huh. Interesting. Maybe a good choice, I like him but doubt he's cut out for American Idol-dom. It's a machine and it swallows good singers whole and spits them out.

It should be an interesting season. As long as no one sings Proud to be an American, I'll be happy.

period mix.

2011-01-29T17:43:00.004-05:00

I went and saw "No Strings Attached" today and it was better than I expected it to be. I really enjoyed it and recommend it, if you can catch a matinee or definitely worth Netflixing down the line.

At one point in the movie, Ashton makes Natalie a "period mix" when she and her roommates are miserable on the same cycle at home.

His period mix included:

Evenflow - Pearl Jam
Red Red Wine - UB40
Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2
I've Got the World on a String - Frank Sinatra
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

A full track list can be found here. They apparently sent out a period mix CD as promo material before the movie premiered... awesome.

Some suggestions of my own to complete the list:

Don't Take It Personal (Just One of Them Days) - Monica
(and yes, this video is from All That, which makes it even better)

Bleed It Out - Linkin Park

Feedback - Janet Jackson
(Only because the lyrics include the line: "Cause my swag is serious, something heavy like a first day period"... Seriously. Wow.)

You're welcome.

dvr.

2011-01-22T16:28:00.004-05:00

I'm kind of a late night talk show junkie. I didn't realize this until I took a look at my DVR and realized that I record:
*The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
*The Colbert Report
*Conan
*Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
*The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

I would also probably record Jimmy Kimmel but Time Warner will only allow me to record 2 shows at a time.

Usually during the week, after work I'll catch up on the shows from the night before but now that we're back into the swing of new primetime TV shows, I haven't had the time. So, today I'm watching everything from this past week. I'm skimming through. My method is to watch the beginning of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I usually fast forward through Conan's monologue, stopping if something looks interesting (a crazy audience member, etc...) I watch the bits/sketches that Conan does and I'll watch the guest interviews if I already like the guest. I usually also fast forward through the monologues for Jimmy and Craig - i'm not really a monologue kind of girl. I love Jimmy Fallon's bits with the Roots (Thank you notes, Tweets, audience games) and I like the very opening of Craig Ferguson, which usually has some audience interaction. I like Craig Ferguson answering Twitter questions, Secretariat, and his interviews. I think that Jimmy has a lot of fun with the guests but his best interviews are with his friends. Otherwise, it's the standard interview story setup, let's show a clip kind of thing. I do like when Jimmy plays games with the guests, that's fun. I especially like corn hole (he calls it "Ice hole", whatever, it's a Midwest staple).

Craig Ferguson treats his interviews more like weird conversations. He leads the discussion in odd places sometimes, in the kind of way that you know could not have been planned in a pre-show interview. Guests can choose to play the "mouth organ" (harmonica) or have an awkward pause with him at the end of the interview, which is a crazy and entertaining twist on the traditional talk show model. I think that Craig seems more comfortable just chatting than Jimmy or Conan do. Both Jimmy and Conan will play with the guests a bit but usually steer things back to the standard convos.

Some of my favorite things from this week's shows:

Daily Show: Palin-drome.

Colbert: Forever Lazy/Coma Cozy.

Conan: Cameron Diaz and Dax Sheppard were funny and likable guests. Cameron does awesome neck rolls. Dax sings the Folgers song with a lot of heart and soul.

Jimmy Fallon: Jimmy's giggling and joking with Steve Higgins and The Roots. When Jimmy giggles, I do too. I love his random bits (Rockapella, "Hit it!", fist pumping)

Craig Ferguson: Rashida Jones discussion about celebrity sex tapes

If you have not watched any of these shows (I didn't used to be a regular Craig Ferguson watcher because I was asleep and if I was awake, I'd watch Jimmy Fallon instead), I recommend checking them out. Every show is different but entertaining.

law and order is my jam.

2011-01-18T21:57:00.003-05:00

Jokes.com

John Mulaney - Jerry Orbach

comedians.comedycentral.com

Jokes

Joke of the Day

Funny Jokes

there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.

2011-01-02T20:45:00.004-05:00

2011 is 8 years since I graduated from high school. 4 years since I graduated college. I am now closer to 30 than I am to 20. I am working for a company that I am passionate about and love my job. I'm in love and loved in return for the first time. I feel as if my life is moving forward, not stuck in neutral like it was for so long. I'm discovering a new city and it feels like home.

I made a list a few years ago of things I wanted to do in my life and it's grown and changed as I've gotten older. In the last year, I was able to cross off a ton of items from that list, which is mind blowing. New awesome career, a wonderful boyfriend, moved - check. Trip to NYC and in the studio audience for SNL? Check. Kissed at midnight on New Years Eve? Check. Live in an apartment with air conditioning and a dishwasher? Check. :)

Life is wonderful, thank you God. I am so grateful for the past year and I'm looking forward to 2011. Thanks friends for your love and support and fun and trust and everything. To quote the great poet Kelly Clarkson, my life would suck without you.

take a look, it's in a book

2010-12-28T22:24:00.005-05:00

So, let me preface this with the fact that I may be biased... Okay, I am totally biased. But that being said, I feel there's merit to the fact that I think that audiobooks and eBooks are pretty great. They will never replace the book collection I have on my shelf and the fact that I still very much enjoy the tactile pleasure of browsing through a bookstore or the library, finding books that jump out at me, reading the brief summaries, feeling the weight in my hand - the smell of used books and the history that lies in the pages and the personal inscriptions and notes and the life inside of paperback and hardcover novels. That won't change for me. But with my new job, I've really come to appreciate audiobooks and eBooks as well. Not to replace paper books but to expand how I enjoy literature. In a broader sense, there's also for me the excitement of the possibility of how many doors are opened for others - to new readers/listeners, to introduce them to titles and authors they'd never think of before because they didn't like to read or didn't go to the library.

Audiobooks have a depth to them that I didn't expect that comes from hearing a story read out loud. Different character voices, inflections you wouldn't expect on certain words or phrases, the feeling that a picture is being painted for you in a different way than it might have been just reading it. I have run into the issue of not liking the narrator's voice which has stopped me from listening to a story but I guess in another sense, I've also put down novels because I didn't like the narrator. A great audiobook I listened to was non-fiction, a humorous book of essays by John Hodgman (from The Daily Show and the "I'm a Mac, I'm a PC" ads). Paul Rudd randomly read the introduction and would pop up throughout the book and John had a friend playing songs, which of course you wouldn't get to enjoy reading the paper book. Something that has surprised me with audiobooks is how much I've gotten into young adult fiction through this format. I wouldn't pick these titles up to check out at the library or pay for them for myself but I've really liked listening to The Hunger Games trilogy, Matched - Ally Condie, and Before I Fall - Lauren Oliver . I'm currently halfway through listening to 13 Little Blue Envelopes - Maureen Johnson. Perhaps it's because I can listen to these books without having to think too much about them and do my work at the same time. (Did I mention that I've been listening to all of these audiobooks and reading the eBooks while I'm at work? I'm learning how to use our system so it's allowed. It's fantastic.)

eBooks are much more closely associated to actually reading a physical book so it's not a huge transition. There is an adjustment to reading a screen but for people our age who stare at computers all day anyway, it's not that different. I read millions of words on the computer, why not books? I've found that with eBooks, it's all about how much you can personalize your reading experience. By this I mean that not only can you add notes or highlight favorite passages, but you can look material up. I use two different eReader programs - at work and on my home computer, I have Adobe Digital Editions. On my iPad, I use iBooks. Both of them allow you to search the text you're reading for certain words, characters, or phrases. I was playing Scattegories with my family over the holidays and the question of whether the name William appeared in the Bible came up. I downloaded the Bible to my iPad, free using iBooks, and used the search function to look up "William". (By the way, there are no Williams, Wills, or Billys in the Bible. Trivia.) iBooks also has the bonus feature of being able to search a word in the dictionary. You highlight the word in question and you can find the definition, without being redirected to a dictionary website. I've learned words such as: apotheosis (ideal: model of excellence or perfection of a kind) and Potemkin (something that seems impressive but in fact lacks substance). My favorite feature of eBooks are footnotes, which I know sounds odd but hear me out - In a regular book, if there are footnotes, they direct you to tiny print at the bottom of the page or you have to hold your place and flip to the end of the chapter or the end of the book. This often led me to skip over some of those footnotes and miss definitions, explanations, and back stories because I didn't want to lose my place. When a footnote appears in an eBook, you click the superscripted number and it directs you to the appropriate footnote. You click the number again and it takes you right back to where you left off in your reading. So cool. One of the best eBooks I've read so far is Jay-Z Decoded. I didn't read it cover to cover... it's more of a browsing through kind of book. He talks about his personal history and his story, how he got to where he is today, his influences, and he analyzes some of his lyrics. Here's a sample of his "decoded" lyrics:

"I check cheddar like a food inspector." -- Public Service Announcement

Decoded: "This line combines two separate pieces of slang -- 'check' means to collect, 'cheddar' means money -- to create a third piece of new slang -- 'a food inspector' -- that only makes sense if you decode the first two phrases. 'Check cheddar' is an alliteration that adds force to the images."

Awesome, right? Just so cool. The Toledo library has an impressive digital collection and it's worth browsing through. They allow 10 checkouts at a time - 10! That's huge. Some libraries only allow 2 at a time so 10 is a great opportunity. Of course, I have the distinct advantage that I have access to nearly any eBook or audiobook I'd like to read/listen to at my fingertips all day at work since we run the collection for so many libraries. Perfect job for me. Perfect. :)

the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

2010-12-04T13:29:00.003-05:00

my all time favorite christmas song and i feel it sometimes bleeds over into other times of the year, too. thanks, mariah.

youtube won't allow me to embed videos of zooey deschanel and will ferrell singing "baby it's cold outside" from elf but i recommend that you look it up. or just go watch the movie (again) because it's a modern classic. puts your right into the christmas spirit.

another favorite christmas movie - Love Actually :)

it makes me happy to see pomplamoose in the holiday hyundai commercials

melissa introduced me to the hanson christmas cd. this is the jam.

speaking of 90s pop groups christmas cds, you can't forget the 'n sync standard Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

guster - donde esta santa claus

which leads me to ... CHRISMUKKAH... which introduced me to that guster gem.

remember when chris brown was on The O.C.? Yeah, that happened. I know you forgot.
I like his version of "This Christmas" and somewhat enjoyed that movie as well.

a suite of holiday themed mraz clips:

old school mraz (on the craig kilborn show... yeah, it was a long time ago)

colbie caillat and jason mraz - have yourself a merry little christmas

jason and his lady friend, tristan prettyman - all i want for christmas is us

i have watched this video over and over. it's great. you might have to turn up your sound - it's worth it.

...and the horribly cheesy song and the equally cheesy video someone made to go along with it that's synonymous with crying - Christmas Shoes. seriously, go say the words "Christmas Shoes" to my mom and see what happens.

some kind of wonderful.

2010-11-30T23:05:00.003-05:00

tomorrow is december. while it is raining right now in the cleveland area, word on the street (and by the street, i mean... the weather report) is that it will snow tomorrow. on the first day of december. isn't that perfection?

i love buying presents for people. i am almost entirely done with my christmas shopping, as well as shopping for the multiple birthdays in december that i buy for. i'm probably 80-90% done with everything, which makes me feel incredibly productive.

since we just passed thanksgiving, here is a list of things I am thankful for ... basically, these are a few of my favorite things (in no order and in no means an extensive list - just what i'm thinking about right now):

*raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
*rays of sunshine that peak through the clouds. it's so ethereal, it makes me feel like all is right with the world in those moments.
*giggling.
*babies giggling.
*giggling at babies (or my trademarked baby giggle, I can't help it)
*pickles
*my awesome family and their sense of humor
*compliments
*apple cider (hot and cold, with rum and without)
*caramel apple suckers
*peppermint candy canes used as hot chocolate stirrers
*the smell of fall leaves and rain
*the smell of flowers blooming in spring
*nostalgia
*my friends knowing just how to cheer me up and those moments when i can say, "thank you for being my friend."
*grandma's warm chocolate chip cookies
*imagining my future... thinking about my home, husband, children, and dogs.
*pop culture trivia, the more useless, the better
*songs with hand clapping to keep the beat
*nonsense, silly things that become inside jokes with my family and friends
*burt's bees lip balm. it's like crack.
*facebook stalking
*toddlers and children dancing, when they hop and stomp around and spin in circles and just laugh and have fun
*holding hands
*frances houseman and johnny castle and the LIFT
*words, especially heteronyms
*judging movies based on the trailers in the dark of the theater and deciding if i want to see them
*the sound of rain
*soft serve ice cream, chocolate/vanilla twist is the best. if not soft serve, then definitely mint chocolate chip. yummmm.
*gerber daisies and tulips and bright colored flowers that smell nice. girls like flowers.
*listening to my sister Alison or my dad play the piano
*dueling pianos
*getting mail that's not bills
*shoutouts to Toledo or Cleveland in movies or on TV shows
*people watching in public places, coming up with names and stories for strangers (which leads to the hit game "that's my boyfriend")
*speaking of... my very sweet boyfriend. he makes me smile and feel loved. that's nice.
*s'mores
*the joy of hearing an awesome song come on the radio that you haven't heard in awhile, thinking THAT'S MY JAM and turning it up and based on weather appropriateness, rolling the window down
*cuddling with puppies
*skee ball, ms pacman, classic arcade games in general
*major magics (RIP)
*grilled cheese sandwiches
*knowing every word to 10 things I hate about you
*hearing a crowd sing every word to a song at a concert, everyone having that same shared experience in their own way but together as one
*discovering a signed or specially notated used book at the bookstore
*when a moment seems like it could be a scene in a movie and you just want to freeze it in time and put a soundtrack to it to remember it forever
*coincidences that aren't really coincidences because i believe in fate
*hope
*cherry coke
*rum.
*the combination of those two things above.
*lloyd dobler and his boombox
*rain boots/galoshes... the word galoshes
*taking pictures and putting them in picture frames
*my new DVR - it's amazing.
*BBM
*making mix cds
*Target. i love Target.
*This American Life
*my comfy bed. sleeping. dreams.

on that note - good night.

love,
me.

always be my baby.

2010-11-15T22:54:00.004-05:00

I love everything about this. This song is my jam - I can listen to it over and over and love covers of it (David Cook's version from his season on American Idol is one of my most played songs on iTunes). The video is about summer camp and I have a thing for summer camp themed entertainment... see: Bug Juice, the beginning of Parent Trap, Camp Nowhere, Wet Hot American Summer... Can't get enough of it.

that is all. enjoy some old school Mariah for the evening.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2010-11-14T22:15:00.004-05:00

I start a new job tomorrow morning. I am psyched but also very anxious. I don't know what to expect. I am in a new apartment, still trying to figure out where everything should go and remembering where I packed things away. I have a shopping list a mile long, trying to make my apartment look like a home and not like a college dorm. I have next to no food because I haven't found a grocery store nearby yet or had the energy enough to go out and go shopping. I haven't written for NaNoWriMo since last week.

Looking at things in a more positive way - I know that this job is going to be amazing and tomorrow is probably just going to be paperwork and orientation type of stuff. I love my apartment. I have so much space, I love the layout, and I feel like I can make it my own. I have gotten a lot of things unpacked and put away in the past few days so it's not an overwhelming amount of things left to unpack. I got to spend last night and tonight with my boyfriend without having to drive two hours to do so. I love that. We can just casually be together and enjoy each other's company without the time and money it costs to travel. 15 minutes away. It's pretty amazing. I know once I get into a pattern with work and get things set up in my apt, I'll be able to start doing new things - maybe finding a gym, discovering bookstores and shops, looking for a church, meeting new people... I want to have a life here. It's just going to take time to get it all together.

Life right now is new and exciting but it's complicated. I'm just trying to figure it all out.

nanowrimo.

2010-11-01T19:52:00.005-04:00

I am participating in National Novel Writing Month this year. Wish me luck! Today, I have written 1,661 words. I need to keep up that pace or write even more every day for the next 30 days to reach the goal of 50,000 words by the end of the month. I am going to try and do it. I don't know where I'm going with my writing yet and haven't fully developed my story yet but I feel like it'll shape as I type.

A lot of big changes are going on in my life this month - my last day at my current job is next week, November 10th. I move into a new apartment in a new city between Nov 11th and Nov 14th. I start at a new awesome job on November 15th. Two weeks from today. Insanity.

Here are some things I'm looking forward to:

* The end of political ads after the election tomorrow. Go Strickland and Kaptur!

* Moving in and decorating a new apartment, with a balcony and a DISHWASHER. My dream, having a dishwasher. So exciting.

* Playing with my new iPad. It's awesome, makes me feel like I live in the future.

Time for HIMYM! Love it. :)

the back-up plan.

2010-09-02T20:14:00.005-04:00

i rented the back-up plan. i've decided to take some notes, write a review as i watch... here we go:

j.lo is getting inseminated.

that girl that got fired from SNL is a bitter cyncial mom of 4. she was kinda funny on SNL ... sometimes. this character is annoying thus far.

meet cute in the rain, sharing a cab/subway. lucky penny, look, she's charming, he falls for her.

sorry india arie but the lyrics to this song playing in the background are RIDICULOUS. inspiring and all but a little heavy handed ("Life is a challenge not a competition, You can still smell the roses and be on a mission, Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart")

sookie from gilmore girls with miss frizzle red hair is a single mom.

and j.lo said the name of the movie... there you go.

J. Lo is chewing with her mouth open. that bothers me.

he sells cheese? why is she so judgmental about the cheese? i'd take a free sample box. fancy cheese is good.

alex o'laughlin is cute. and does a decent american accent.

thank you for not casting eric christian olsen as a student. he is 8 years older than i am, he is nowhere near a high school student or young community college student age, yet he continues to be cast in these roles. i don't get it.

j.lo's name is zoe. she owns a pet store. alex, cute boy, is named stan. stan sells cheese.

oh, it's the dog whisperer!

why doesn't she like cute cheese boy? i like his scruffy face and oatmeal colored sweater.

"i'm not gay" she says loudly enough to make everyone turn around and shhh her. that's never happened in movies before. how original.

i've always wanted to have gray's papaya, ever since i saw and loved "fools rush in".

j. lo looks a lot like eva mendez right now.

oh, look. another plot contrived lucky penny. wonder how many times they'll wheel that out.

her dog has a wheelchair on his back legs. and wears dog bandannas. i dig it.

i don't like scenes of women taking pregnancy tests. didn't like it in "knocked up" either. you making faces while you pee? no thanks.

really, just leave your pregnancy test out in the bathroom on the heater? so the dog could get it, of course. that's why. wacky mishaps.

what kind of first date is this? a private candle lit dinner in a community garden? you aren't proposing to her, you barely know this girl. damn it, this is the kind of shit that ruins dating in real life.

oh, of course there's a fire. yet another wacky mishap. i bet she ends up spraying the water hose all over him... and look at that, i'm a psychic. water fight.

he can milk a goat? is that a turn on?

... and she's pregnant. hence the point of getting inseminated. she finds out the results of her pregnancy test in dog puke. nice.

old ladies can't hear well. this makes for more comical yelling.

a series of questions:

old ladies say douchebag?

pregnant woman are horny all the time, huh?

was judy greer too busy for this role so michaela watkins stepped in as the bff? do casting agents ask for a judy greer type now? she is the stereotypical best friend/sarcastic sidekick in every romantic comedy.

glasses? do you really need spectacles j.lo? do they even have glass in them or are those buddy holly style glasses to give the perception that your character is smart? oh good, he called her mrs. magoo and she took them off.

he's shirtless on a tractor and she runs her car into a tree. usually that happens with cartoon construction workers when they see a hot babe and they make cat calls like the studio audience on Married with Children used to do to Christina Applegate (speaking of pregnant ladies).

doesn't he wonder why she spends so much time in the bathroom? is the bathroom so soundproofed that talking to herself out loud and proclaiming in the mirror, "I'm going to have a baby!" doesn't travel through the walls?

i know pregnant women get cravings but digging into his stew and sopping it up with your hands and bread is a little over the top.

"i don't want kids" he says. uh oh, she should probably tell him she's pregnant at this point.

of course, the "there's something i need to tell you" speech never goes well in movies. "hold that thought", come look at my barn full of cheese. how romantic. let's have sex in the cheese barn?

it's not a good message to tell someone you can't have sex with them and then ... have sex with them.

how sexy, a post-coital vomit and then telling him that you've been inseminated. that's hot.

what guy says, "we just made love and now you're telling me you're pregnant with some strangers child"? (that being said, he can say whatever he wants as long as he keeps his shirt unbuttoned. dang. he's got that michael phelps style cut happening. do you see that picture? shoot. that's crazy.)

fight fight. "we should just go our separate ways". yeah right. like that'll happen.

cue the sad and lonely montage while a wistful song about "the key to my heart" plays. oh look, there's a penny on the ground. get it? the penny. a farmer's market, selling fancy cheeses. laying alone on a couch watching tv.

well, that separation didn't last long.

he comes in with her to the ultrasound? vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina. just saying, third date, should not be involving the vag doc.

she's going to have twins. how meta.

he just referred to her having twins as having a posse. a posse? is she birthing a rappers hype man? are mini-griz and dot com in her belly?

juice box break with wise dad anthony anderson. hey, remember when you were on hang time? that was sweet.

j. lo is in her single mothers meeting and she's being rude and offensive. she is hyperventilating because she got pregnant ... like she paid for and went to the sperm bank for... and they're trying to be supportive and she is interrupting them and looking for sympathy. no surprise, they talk about voting her out of the group.

listen, don't whine about how nothing fits and then choose the tightest possible dress for a night out. instead of wearing something loose, you squeeze into an ill fitting dress and put your babies at risk by falling onto your stomach into a cab? of course the dress rips. and her baby bump got bigger between the beginning of the night and when they got home. like doubled in size.

he complains, "we used to have sex all the time"... all 3 or 4 dates you had before this point. that was all the time? you're talking about a year from now? and preschool? and college costs? who are you? you've known her for like 3 days.

so i take it he moved in?

dude, hold the phone, it's Jan Brady! she works at the stroller shop.

"i miss my old ass." again, how meta, J. Lo, to be talking about your ass. "why do you have a picture of your ass?" good question.

i like her headboard. the clock says it's 3:30. AM? why are they awake? in the afternoon? why are they in bed?

hippie single mom group, of course they have a water home birth with drums beating and chanting.

she falls again? she falls straight into the birthing pool. is no one concerned about how often she is falling when she is so pregnant?

how could she be offended by him saying that her babies are not his? they aren't! and he clarified his statement with "we're having twins" so he took ownership at that point but no. that led to a blow out argument.

"what else am i supposed to do (to convince you that i'm not leaving)?" oh, i don't know. if you are really committed to her and talking about the future with the children and you are living together, why don't you think about proposing? i know, crazy thought.

break up.

if my best friend was pregnant, i would not allow her to climb into a dumpster. if she needed something out of that dumpster, i would offer to crawl up and look into it for her. she does redeem herself by acting as her body pillow when she's sad. that is good. but still.

her grandma's getting married. is that a bridesmaid dress? it's cream. there are weird flowers all over it. what's going on here, j.lo?

jan brady is back with the custom stroller. jan being in this movie is great for my six degrees of separation games.

texting while she's walking down the aisle. so rude. i'm glad her grandma told her she was going to "hurl that fucking thing in the holy water". i would too. she's so selfish.

they're singing "she drives me crazy" at this wedding reception. i always think about melissa thinking that the lyrics were "she drives me crazy... like cold hard cash" instead of "like no one else".

she's in labor and they're repairing their relationship. of course. there's that damn penny again.

j. lo's fake eyelashes are really distracting me while she's giving birth.

BABIES! twin babies! awwwwwwwwwww. (speaking of, now there's a movie I want to see. BABIES.)

happily ever after. he opens a cheese store, they get engaged, and she's pregnant again?

bloopers during credits. and no surprise, there's a j.lo song playing....

wow.

well, glad i didn't pay $10 to see it at the theater.

not bad for a rental. to quote other reviews, it's not reprehensible. here's my highlights in summary:

1) i don't mind J.Lo as an actress.
2) Alex O'Laughlin spends a lot of time up at the gym, just working on his fitness and it shows when he walks around shirtless which is relatively frequently. so, that's good.
3) Jan Brady.
4) Babies.
5) Handicapped dog.

I've definitely seen worse.

...and things of that nature.

2010-08-20T21:15:00.004-04:00

My company is redesigning their website and the current draft I saw today has a picture of a monorail at the top of the page. A monorail. We're a telecommunications company. Maybe a picture of a phone or a computer would make sense... but no. A monorail. Are we now dabbling in transportation? Are we moving our offices to Disney World? Why do I even bother asking questions anymore?

So, I enjoy browsing through photography blogs, stalking on strangers' weddings and baby portraits and the like. It's like watching "Say Yes to the Dress" where I see what kind of dresses other people try on and think about what I would like someday... Same idea. I like seeing how other people do things, love the way the photographers play with light and color and find cool places to shoot. Grooms in Converse, pretty floral arrangements, babies in big headbands with even bigger eyes. I love it. Some of the blogs I stalk out are Wendy Martin Photography (who I've followed since Katie and Nick had their engagement pictures taken with her and then she did their wedding), Two Ring Photography, and Jennifer Mott Photography. Love pictures, these ladies do a great job.

My dad takes some awesome pics - not of weddings but you know... nature. When he's on vacation, he gets really cool shots. Here are a few of my faves from their last trip up north:

memory lane.

2010-08-04T23:28:00.003-04:00

So, I used to have a myspace account. I feel bad for myspace - it used to be the cool thing, Facebook was the underdog. And then it got taken over and FB rules the world. Anyway, when I deleted my account, I saved my blog history first and dumped it into a file that I just found on my computer. Here are some choice excerpts from 2005-2007:

November 15, 2007
creating a magic cascade.

"i don't talk trash. i talk smack. they're totally different. trash talk is all hypothetical, like "your mama's so fat she could eat the internet." but smack talk is happening like right now, like "you're ugly and i know it for a fact because i've got the evidence right there." thank you, kelly kapur. amazing. i love the office.

runts introduced new flavors - pineapple and mango. i was totally excited, right? until i opened the box. it was then that i realized two important things: 1) the new flavors are nast. really, i almost spit the pineapple one out. and c'mon, those aren't shaped anything like pineapples or mangos. 2) by adding the two gross new ones, they took out the RED! the red was the best part! the green and blue are also gone but i could do without those but the red - you suck, wonka. i only want one of your stupid golden tickets if it gets me to where you hid all the red runts.

November 27, 2006
another reason why i love my family.
My sister Sarah received a friend request from a man named 'Frank Squirrel' who is a person inside of a squirrel costume. This already makes me giggle. This is the response she sent to him about wanting to be friends:
"Dear Frank Squirrel,
You are a stranger, and also a squirrel.
I don't have anything against squirrels in general (I happen to like them quite a bit) and we do have similar interests. For example, one of my favorite songs is by Super Furry Animals- Hello Sunshine- and I am also highly amused by waterskiing squirrels.
However, I am not sure about this whole "friends" thing. The thing is: I'm afraid of animal costumes. The home team for Toledo is the Mud Hens- I'm terrified of whoever is inside that mascot suit. It's an issue I'm trying to deal with, but it's still a pretty big problem for me and I just don't know if I can handle a friendship with a man-sized squirrel.
Maybe some other time, squirrel guy.
Sincerely, Sarah"

October 30, 2006
oh, college place.
the cops are outside. the neighbors across the street are having a girl fight, screaming, and calling each other "crack whore bitch" and the like... in front of several small children.
lovely.
that's a nice thing to come home to after a full day of classes.
and by nice, i mean, disturbing.

July 04, 2006
sassy molassy

I woke up to the sounds of someone with a tambourine outside of my window - they were warming up for a parade that's happening about 5 feet from my house. I've heard several different marching bands, firetrucks, and now, there are bagpipers playing. Very festive.
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
I love celebrating a date like that. We refer to every other holiday by it's official name (it's Christmas, not "Happy December 25th!") Why don't more people say 'Independence Day' instead? Huh. Just wondering.
Now, it sounds like a circus is going down the street. Or a boatload of ice cream trucks. Either way, good times.

June 25, 2006
dreams can say so much... and so little
last night, i dreamt that vanilla ice wasn't white after all. in fact, he was a rather big black man that the record label forced to pretend he was white. through some kind of makeup magic, everyone was fooled. when i was told this, i responded with, "really? but... i saw the behind the music. why didn't you say something there? and is your name really rob van winkle?" the guy just laughed and said, "do you think that anyone is really named rob van winkle? we made that shit up."

May 22, 2006
putting that degree to use... you know how i roll.

every crush i've had in the past two years...
summed up in prose and poetry.
----
tears
cover new territory
forcefully flowing between different freckles
streaming steadily down the sides of my face

lips
ready to taste the familiar salt
are left chapped and dry
the tears baptize my ears
and patches of my tangled hair

eyes
bloodshot and aching
i squeeze them tightly shut
wayward tears still manage to escape

tears
fall whenever i
remember that night
my hopes fell apart

lips
mash together furiously
a line crossed immediately
innocence gone
those same lips whisper your regret

eyes
helplessly staring at the ceiling
following a growing crack in the molding
unable to meet your searching gaze

flat on my back
alone.

---
And its just like that
You're stuck in a place you'd rather not be
Knowing that what you want
Is out of reach
Unattainable
Unrequited
Youve done your part
Taken the steps
Followed the path
Followed your heart
Still stuck in park
Maybe even reverse
Going nowhere
And wondering where you went wrong
What is wrong?
What is right?
What are these magic steps?
Why don't I know them?
What kind of power do I have
That turns people away?
Questions without logical answers
A standard phrase
A clichéd expression
Expected to solve my problems
And give me some type of hope
False hope, maybe
Someday my prince will come
Someday's not today
And my prince is otherwise occupied
Who is my prince anyway?
Clearly not who I had in mind
I should have listened
And learned
Instead my heart got tangled up
Misled
Stubborn
Wouldn't listen to my words
And the logic that I insist I have
I let my heart stumble down a wrong path
And it won't come back

Even though I know its lost
There was a glimmer of light
So it started forging new ground
Only to realize the light was flickering out
Because it was an illusion
Left in the dark, on the wrong path
Unable to turn back
Wondering what Im supposed to do now.

-----
Sitting on the rooftop
In the rain
Smoking clove cigarettes
The scent faintly reminds me of church
Or a hippies basement
I don't mind that the smell lingers in my hair
He gives me his jacket
And apologizes for the chivalry
The raindrops are cold and I don't mind
Two doors down
A fire is burning
We wonder if they have marshmallows
Smores would be perfect

Brownies and candles
I blew them all out at once
Did my wish come true?
Patience
I suck at waiting

A glass of wine
Four shots of blue
Trust me, it wasn't blue kool-aid
Vodka straight up
Tastes like bug spray
Take it anyway
Red plastic cups
Filled with Smirnoff that might as well be grape soda
Frantically drinking and flicking violently with our finger tips
Im only good at this game when Im trashed
The cups stick to the table better when its wet
My sober mind doesnt have the coordination required
Sprite and vodka mixed
Looks like water
But trust me, its not the same

Surrounding the hookah
A guitar is passed
Strumming familiar chords
A new song starts
About a girl who wears stilettos in the rain
Mesmerized
We listen silently

Riding home
I reach my hands over my head
And into the backseat
You grab them
Our fingers intertwine
I close my eyes
Enjoy the moment
Because I know it won't last
The evening ends soon
and my buzz is fading fast
-------------

Speak to me words I don't understand,
a language that flows so easily off your tongue,
soft and so romantic, it's almost cliche.
i'd say that you learned it just to impress the fairer sex
... but I really don't think that's the case.
Grab my hand tight, don't let go,
sing to me a song I wish you really meant...
you look in my eyes when you sing it,
but the words are Lennon and McCartney's... and it's just a song.

----

December 05, 2005
to the 'men' on myspace...

To whom it may concern (aka the skeezy men in myspace land):
My name is Melissa. See that picture there? That's me with 3 of my little sisters and our family dog. See how I'm fully clothed? Look through my other pictures and see how I'm not a crazy party girl, "looking for a good time"? Yeahhh.
Read my "About Me" section where I specifically say: "As a side note, contrary to popular belief, I don't use myspace (or facebook, for that matter) as a dating service. So, just because you're a 20 something year old guy who happens to live within a 100 mile radius of me doesn't mean that I think we should chat/get to know each other/hook up."
Yeahhhh. About that.

Below I'm going to include the insane messages that I receive from men at least once a week on myspace. Ranging from annoying to bizarre to completely inappropriate, I present just some of my unwanted messages from the past two months:

1. ok names ken 27 years old single i have a job it dont pay as much i want it too...um i have a cell in case we communicate..in my spear time i like to get to know people...go out have a good time.go to the mall and movies i like to camp.i like to travel with my folks and family once in a great while.i have no kids...never been married..never had a longterm relationship before...what else would like to know...thanks

Wow, Ken sounds like a winner. If anyone needs a date, he doesn't have any kids! And he has a lot of spear time. Which is good. I love spear time.

2. Just wanted to say wassup. I think the big sunglasses are definitely hott and them lips are nice to ;) - Terrance

Ummmm. Thanks, Terrance? Question mark?

3. HELLO!
I am an artist in the Ann Arbor area looking for figure models for a body mold project I am currently working on!
If you think you may be interested please let me know and I will elaborate a bit more for you!
Andre

His user picture, by the way, is just the body of a completely nude woman. Yeah, no thanks.

4. HI iam looking for anyone in the SE MI area who maybe intrested in being in realistic hospital photos. photos of you as if your actually hospitalized hooked up to some of the equipment. it just looks real NO needels or tubes are actually in you. this is just a hobby/interest, iam NOT a buisness. looking for anyone else with the same interest or who thinks they may like the chance to do it. if you think your interested i have sample photos i can e-mail you.

dude. CREEPY. I saw a Law & Order episode once that involved something like this.

5. wanna join my list girls with pretty feet? sorry to bother you all i wanted was pics of your feet no face or body just feet

i am not here to satisfy your weird fetishes, sir.

6. hey there cutie, how are you? well I guess this might seem a little strange considering we don't know each other--but I was wondering if you could help me fulfill an office fantasy that I have--its a little wild but ill tell you what it is--I want a girl I never met to come to my office to talk business and in the meeting she writes something on a piece of paper to me saying she wants to come over to my side of the desk--and when I read it she comes over to my side and kisses me and then slides down between me and gives me a blowjob right there in my chair while Im pretending to go over business stuff--crazy huh? i thought you were cute and if you can help Im willing to make this as comfortable as possible--im not judging you are anything--i just hope maybe you can help--write back.
Jay

WHAT?! No, really... What? Are you kidding me? Is there ANYTHING about my profile that would ever suggest that I would read that and be like, "Yeah, that sounds great. Let me get right on that, Jay." Gross, nasty perv. Get a fucking life, for real.

I'm disgusted.